Worst Jokes Ever
Little Johnny was staying at his grandparents' house, and he asked his grandpa, "Can I have a cigarette?" His grandpa said, "Well, can your dick touch your asshole?" He said, "No." "Then that's your answer." A little bit later, Little Johnny asked for a beer. His grandpa said, "Well, can your dick touch your asshole?" He said, "I already said no." "Well, that's your answer." Later, he was complaining to his grandma, and she gave him cookies. His grandpa came up to him and said, "Can I have a cookie?" Little Johnny said, "Well, can your dick touch your asshole?" His grandpa said, "Well, yes, it can." And Little Johnny said, "Well, go fuck yourself, old man, because these are my cookies."
Why don't feminists like to eat hotdogs? Because they remind them of men's dicks.
I like my wine like how I like my women: 10 years old and locked in a basement.
Jonny went to school one day, and later that day his dad got a call saying he needed to pick up his son because he had had sex with a teacher. When Jonny got home, his dad was so happy he went out to the store and bought him a bike. When they bought the bike, Jonny was offered to ride the bike, but he declined it and replied, "My butt still hurts."
The new pandemic is feminism and all kinds of democratic thinking. COVID is a joke compared to these nasty ass diseases.
The Titanic before the iceberg be like: "We can't go under it, we gotta go through it!"
If you’ve got depression, then your life is a joke. Everyone laughs at both.
What do you call a group of transgender women? Ex-Men.
My boyfriend accused me of cheating. I told him he reminded me of my girlfriend.
People say that they can read people's faces; then how come nobody sees me breaking inside?
If you have anger problems, hit an orphan, because who are they going to tell? Not their parents.
Ejaculated in her braces, call that children behind bars.
If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.
(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)
For all the Harry Potter fans:
A VPN is occlumency for smart devices, and our ISP is a legilimens.
As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast. It has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.
What do you call a sandwich 🥪 full of envy?
Peanut Butter n' Jealousy! 😂
I was accused of rape, but I swear she was a whore.
Why was the asian late to class?
His 1 minute rice took 2 minutes to cook.
Why did Beethoven have trouble finding a music teacher? Because his teacher was Haydn.
What do chickens play in the pool? Marco Polo.