Worst Jokes Ever
As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast. It has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.
I was accused of rape, but I swear she was a whore.
Why was the asian late to class?
His 1 minute rice took 2 minutes to cook.
Why did Beethoven have trouble finding a music teacher? Because his teacher was Haydn.
What do chickens play in the pool? Marco Polo.
What do you call a bacon from Chernobyl?
Technoblade!
Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
Why don’t mountains take things seriously?
Because they’re hill areas.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's kid have ears? She gave it its first haircut!
🤔 ❓ How do lesbians 😳 practice safe 🙏 sex they put condoms on dildos and then they put dildos inside of their 👄 👄 👄 mouths and then they perform fellatio on them
What's the difference between you and an idiot? Not very much if you reword and post the same joke over and over.
At school, Bobby's classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, Bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with "Why are you crying?" Bobby says, "Someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die?" His mom looks him straight in the eye and says, "Depends, which one are you referring to?"
What did the woman do when the armed police officer raped her?
Freeze.
I’m happy to be with my EA when I go to school.
You aren't alone. If you ever need to chat, I'm here. From one person to another. I hate this condition. I wish we didn't struggle.
I was sad, so I called the depression hotline. Turns out the depression hotline is where people roast you until you are depressed.
I'm glad I'm not a pornstar... that would be pretty sucky.
Three blonde girls are on an island, and they are much too far away from land to swim. They find a genie on the island who offers them each one wish. The first girl says, "I wish I was smart enough to get off this island!" So the genie makes her a redheaded girl, she cuts down a tree, makes it into a boat, and proceeds to row off the island.
The next girl says, "I wish I was even smarter than her so I don't have to do so much manual labor!" So she turns into a brunette and makes a sailboat and lets the wind take her off the island.
The final girl says, "I wish I was smarter than both of them!" So she turns into a man and takes the bridge.
Q: Why did the father throw butter out the window?
A: He wanted to see a butterfly.
Three guys are walking in a bar. A priest, a paedophile, and a rapist. That was just the first guy.