Worst Jokes Ever

I saw identical twins. I threw a paper plane at them.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road? - 'Cause she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.

Violence against women is funny :)

My name is Joe Biden, and I forgot this message.

Not totally a joke but... What do all these rape joke naysayers have in common with rapists? They are also forcing themselves on others.

I'm not racist, but the Ku Klux Klan look all the same to me.

Why is the USA so bad at chess?

Because they already lost two towers.

Why did the United Nations stop the French government from using the guillotine in public?

Because the French government was using the guillotine on newborn babies for circumcision.

One day, the fat kid came up to me and asked me, "What's cracking?" The floorboards, you idiot. You're causing a 9.7 Richter scale earthquake and asking ME what's cracking. It would be best if you looked down for a second.

What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.

The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening.

"Sure honey! If you suck my dick!"

So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!"

"Oh yeah, I forgot," says the father. "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."

What's the difference between herpes and my dad?

Herpes stays around.

"Just killed a woman, feeling good."

- Tommyinnit

Why did the orphan go to a church?

So he could call someone "father."

My therapist said time heals all wounds. I stabbed him. Now we wait...

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Not your dad?"

I like porn a lot. I was wondering if you guys can talk to me.

What does Jesus do when he gets nervous? He bites his nails.

Why does every emo kid try to be like Tarzan? So they can swing on the vine.

I have tried coke; it is not my cup of tea.