Worst Jokes Ever
Covid 19 stopped mass shootings faster than the Government.
Dark jokes are like water; some people just don't get it.
911 jokes usually go over my head.
Then it hits me.
What do suicidal people do in their spare time?
Hang out.
There are so many things going through my head. Sadly, none of it is a 9mm.
One day, I saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" I said, "His parents."
Why are so many Americans stupid? Because they shoot the ones that go to school.
What do a politician and a minister have in common?
Both of them will tell you anything to get money from you.
I have an EpiPen.
My friend gave it to me when he was dying.
It seemed really important to him that I have it.
What is an orphan's favorite beer?
"Fosters."
It's ironic that the more other people love you, the more you hate yourself.
Like it if you judge people's hairlines.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.
But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.
Heterosexual sodomy is like religion. If you were forced to accept it when you were younger, you probably would not like it when you become an adult.
When you realize you have depression, and depression realizes how stupid you were.
Circumcision is like getting your dick sucked by a female. If you did not like it when you were a teenager, you probably will not like it when you become an adult.
How are school shooting victims and school shooting jokes similar?
They never get old.
These jokes are fun for the whole family to enjoy.
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. "One more picture and I'll jump." He takes another photo and shuts the window. "I can't jump, you're not supposed to throw trash out the window."
A teacher gives her kindergarten students four flavors of lifesavers, and they have to guess the flavors. The students guess cherry, lime, and orange. They don't know the last flavor. So, the teacher gives them a hint and says, "It's what your parents call each other." [honey] But a little girl shouts and says, "OMG, they're assholes."