If you're reading this, then your life means nothing...
Have a nice day! 🙂😊
Worst Jokes Ever
A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?"
She points off the cliff, and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside, all mangled and dead.
The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."
My mom came to me and shouted, "Nobody is giving me a fuck." So I went forward and fucked her!
What do feminists and tampons have in common?
They're both stuck-up cunts.
Why do more men than women support abortion? So they can keep raping women and the victims will just abort their kids to not have to relive the experience!
My girlfriend has a huge crush on Jupiter, I mean she fell HARD!
Big penis.
Kenny is a comfort snacker.
Every time he's stressed, he eats his mom's pussy.
MISSING MISSING!!! 😢😢
NAME: PRUNO PENANDES 👍🤝
MISSING: 27/6/21 VS BELGIUM 🤔🤔
LAST SEEN: DIVING AT OLD TRAFFORD, CRYING TO REFEREES🤬😿
POSSIBLE LOCATIONS: PENALTY SPOT🥅
"GIVE ME PENALTY”🤬🤬
"I ONLY STATPAD AGAINST FARMERS MY FRIEND"😁😁
A boy asked his dad for some money to buy an ice cream with, so he went to an ice cream van. Whilst he was in the queue, two boys asked him what flavor he was getting. He told them "strawberry." The two boys were shocked and beat him up. The ice cream man felt bad and gave him his strawberry ice cream for free.
When he got home, his dad also asked what flavor he bought. The boy said "strawberry." His dad then kicked him out of the house. The boy, confused, walked down the street and was stopped by the police, who were looking for a boy who had been eating strawberry ice cream. The boy said, "That's me," and the policeman arrested him.
A week later in court, the boy was on trial. The judge asked, "Can you tell me what were you doing on the fifth of May?" (the day he was arrested) The boy said, "I was eating ice cream." The judge decided he was innocent. On the way out, the judge asked him what the flavor was (he had forgotten to ask during the trial). Of course, he answered with "strawberry." The judge, horrified, realized he had given the wrong verdict and the boy should have been executed. Unfortunately, he couldn't change what had happened, so the boy walked out and crossed the road but was hit by a car and died.
The moral of the story is look left and right before crossing the road.
What's the difference between a brand new Oldsmobile and a brand new Raping?
...Rape.
Yo Father, don't use the baptism bath. I cleaned my anal plug in there.
What?
The holy water gets all the ass off. Don't mind the white stuff. *clears throat*
I would make a 9/11 joke, but it just wouldn't land.
What is a bald eagle's favorite chip?
Preagles!
Why are Chinese so good at jaywalking? Cause they can't tell the difference between green and red light with their tiny eyes.
What do you call a fake speedrunner?
Dream.
"Jump in the Cadillac, girl, let's put some miles on it."
You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys. Thank you, Jesus, for creating baptism.
Whoever invented school, I hope you burn in hell.
"You're pretty, let me take you on a date!" Sike, I lied. You're ugly and fried. What you talking about?