Worst Jokes Ever
My first time sex was like buying my first used, crappy car.
I didn't want it, but Dad gave it to me anyway.
Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A. Ask your mother.
Guess why orphans can't be gay? Cause they have no one to call Daddy.
BIDEN!
Why do orphans always have water in their cereal? Because the dad never came back with the milk.
My girlfriend is like treasure to me.
You need a shovel to find her.
- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"
- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
Scientists found water on Mars, mars-1 africa-0.
Poor kids in American schools, they want books, but all they get are magazines.
Go drop-kick an orphan. No one will know, not like his parents would know.
Wife: "Did you notice that the child is actually not yours?"
Husband: "I've been suspecting this for a long time. Finally you admit it."
Wife: "What are you talking about? I asked you to pick up our child from the kindergarten. But the child you picked up is not ours!"
Why couldn't the teacher let her kids out?
Because she has no arms to open the door.
I once told an orphan his dad is Spider-Man because he is far from home.
Kid. What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher. What?
Kid. Fruity pebbles with water.
Teacher. Why water?
Kid. Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, girls would find me attractive.
Why can't a blind person eat fish?
They can't see food.
I walked up to a man, and he said, "How's the weather up there?" and then I pushed him into the street to get hit by a bus.
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.
I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza.
Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.
...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.