A Texan and an Alaskan walk into a room, and the Alaskan says, "My state is bigger." Then the Texan says, "It won't be when it melts."
Worst Jokes Ever
I never forget my grandpa's last words.
"Are you still holding the ladder?"
What do you call an apartment full of Black people?
A crackhouse.
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing.
The beer bottle says: "If you break me, you get one year of bad luck."
The mirror scoffs: "Oh, that's nothing. You break me and you get 7 years of bad luck."
The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing.
Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.
Ever tried African food?
Neither have they.
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can’t take medicine on an empty stomach.
My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.
Why do you call a fat midget?
Jiggly Puff.
What was Hitler’s favorite sex position?
Sixty nein.
I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.
James Last, the king of the LP bargain bin, died a Florida Man.
I got a part in a movie called "Cocaine." I only have one line.
What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.
It’s ok to yell “Kobe” after missing a shot, he didn’t make it either.
Pornhub suggesting me MILF on Mother's Day...
Yo mama so fat, when she bought a fur coat, she made a whole species extinct.
"I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now."
Why do orphans eat water with their cereal? Because their father never came home with milk.
