Worst Jokes Ever
On a scale of Johnny Depp having an erectile dysfunction to Michael Jackson exposing himself in a child day care center, how hard is it to get into Oxford?
If I'm ugly, why do you always look at me when I come in the door?
I heard that my crush got kicked in the balls and when I thought of it...
I don't like 9/11 jokes, they tend to crash and burn.
Hey, I know this is a classic joke but I found it pretty funny!
"My name is 4, four like the number," my friend said. "What, was 1 2 3 taken?"
I can even with it but I was bored and decided to share this.
What do you call a united cow?
United Steaks.
What is the difference between an orphan and Pikachu? Pikachu, I choose you!
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head 'n Shoulders.
Why does Batman’s mask only cover half of his face?
So the police can see that he’s white.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through something so small?"
Why do French people eat snails?
Because they don’t like fast food.
Why should you always give an emo a high five in the hallway? You can’t leave them hanging.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 67 stories in 0.67 milliseconds.
Why is prostitution illegal?
Because when it comes to screwing people and taking their money, the government doesn't want anyone outperforming them.
Ever tried African food?
Neither have they.
A black dude hits up a trap house for some crack and Hennessy, flashing his grill and boasting 'bout his gangsta life. The dealer snarls, "Pay up, fool. Or face the pipe!" He shrugs, "I'm broke, n***a." Suddenly, the dealer's ripped enforcer yanks him down, cuffs his hands with zip ties, shoves a vibrating dildo gag down his throat, slaps his ass red with a spiked paddle, then rams his throbbing monster cock into that tight hole, pounding savagely while choking him with a chain collar, flooding his guts with hot cum as he moans, "That's your high, bitch. Addicted yet?"
Yo mama's so dumb, when a robber stole her TV, she said, "You forgot the remote!"
James Last, the king of the LP bargain bin, died a Florida Man.
I have some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.
I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.