Worst Jokes Ever
Why is it so hard to choose between buying a Subaru or a Volvo? Because you’re deciding whether you want to look like a rapist or a pedophile.
A man walks into a pharmacy and buys multiple containers of Tylenol, and the clerk asks why he's buying all of these. He replies with, "I'm playing 1 pill eat 100."
What's similar between a blind kid and an orphan?
They both can't see their parents.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and they got plain!
If I eat a poisonous potato, it attacks my immune system and I die.
But if I poison a poisonous potato, then eat it, then I won't die because the potato is already dead and can't attack my immune system.
What do you call two female lovers spying on the government?
Lesbionage.
Guys, stop making jokes about orphan's parents.
Who will be told? Oh wait.
After work, I volunteer to help blind children. Verb, not adjective.
What does an evil hen lay?
Deviled eggs! 😈🥚
A proud new dad sits down with his own father.
His father says, "Son, you now have a child of your own, so I think it's time I gave you this." And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes.
The young man says, "Dad, I'm honored," as tears well up in his eyes.
His father says, "Hi, Honored, I'm Dad."
What goes Snap, Crackle, and Pop?
A neck.
I still remember my grandpa's last words; "Is that loaded?"
Kobe Bryant never missed a shot.
But he nailed that mountain.
A priest and a nun are traveling across the desert on a camel, and when all of a sudden the camel dies. They’re in the middle of the desert with no hope of rescue when that night the priest thinks to himself that he can’t die a virgin. He looks over at the nun and pulls out his penis. The nun says, "Father, what is that?" He says, "This, sister, is the wand of life." The nun says, "Good, now go stick it in that camel's ass and let’s get the hell out of here!"
How did the Shaggy defense become successful for JD Vance?
He was not banging on the sofa. Rather, he was banging the sofa!
What's the difference between a baby and a sweet potato? About 140 calories.
An orphan's first word would be "orphan keeper."
Q. What walks through alleys and has a hole in it?
A. Batman's parents.
Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a big forehead, and your hairline recedes too.
Why do Asians have squinty eyes?
Because atomic bombs are pretty damn bright.