Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
I hate this. Everybody knows it's how I roll, if you jump into my van you get a Tootsie Roll. My uncle said this...
A favorite childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather, that is until my mom took the urn away from me.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They don't know where home is.
What does a slave owner use to buy slaves? A Master Card.
I’d make fun of transgender women, but that’s low hanging fruit.
My first time sex was like buying my first used, crappy car.
I didn't want it, but Dad gave it to me anyway.
BIDEN!
Why do orphans always have water in their cereal? Because the dad never came back with the milk.
Guess why orphans can't be gay? Cause they have no one to call Daddy.
Go drop-kick an orphan. No one will know, not like his parents would know.
Poor kids in American schools, they want books, but all they get are magazines.
- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"
- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
Scientists found water on Mars, mars-1 africa-0.
I once told an orphan his dad is Spider-Man because he is far from home.
Kid. What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher. What?
Kid. Fruity pebbles with water.
Teacher. Why water?
Kid. Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, girls would find me attractive.
Why can't a blind person eat fish?
They can't see food.
I walked up to a man, and he said, "How's the weather up there?" and then I pushed him into the street to get hit by a bus.