What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? They both start at 12.
Worst Jokes Ever
How do emos compliment each other?
They say, "I like your cuts g."
A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, "If you're happy and you know it..."
The room was full of arm amputees.
Did you hear about the bisexual from Alabama? He can't decide whether to fuck his brother or his sister.
What's long, black and full of seamen? A submarine.
I did a bungee jump for charity recently. It was called "spastics on elastics."
Why can't Chinese people play baseball?
Because they eat the bat.
How does Moses prepare his tea? -- Hebrews it.
What is the richest planet?
Saturn 🪐- It has many rings.
I just found out my ex got stabbed today... let's just say I lost my job as a butcher.
What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?
They are both going to be hanging from a tree.
My town's population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.
The twin towers were like my parents... They never came back.
What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?
One's got hope in her soul, the other's got soap in her hole.
How does a crazy person get to the woods?
He takes the psychopath.
How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? They marched in backwards and the Polish people thought they were leaving.
Why did Michael Jackson rush to Walmart?
He heard boys' pants were half off!
I was in school yesterday and I saw this emo kid with a new cut, so I said, "I like ya cut g." And I slapped him. I don't know why I got in so much trouble. All I did was slap his wrist.
What does Michael Jackson like about 28 year olds? There's 20 of them!
What do turtles and lesbians have in common? They both choke on plastic.
