Worst Jokes Ever
What's big, black, and touches children?
Harambe.
Why can't an orphan get caught on the hub? They have no parents to catch them.
How do you know if a snowman is a girl or a boy?
A: Snowballs.
Why is my sister so annoying? Because put your own thing in.
What did one squirrel say to the other squirrel?
"Stop staring at my nuts."
Nancy, the throat goat!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
Looking for true love. Must be into fun, likes to go out driving, playing the latest catching game and most importantly, must love kids. (PEADOPHILES MUST APPLY WITH HOW MANY KIDS YOU CAN CARRY!)
What’s the difference between a police man and a bullet?
At least when a bullet kills someone, it’s actually fired.
Yo mom is so fat that when she stands on a scale, she broke it, lol.
Why did the emo swallow the alarm clock?
So he could wake up inside.
What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?
I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.
I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"
I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.
I like sucking the Twin Towers off, but then I forgot dad already finished the job.
Why can't orphans have chips? Because it's family size.
My dad told me and my sister to stop arguing, so I threw her out the window instead.
"Hey, you! Why are you so serious?"
What do you call a funny drink?
Punch!
kapteyn = captain
You're so short that you use a ladder to reach a dime.