Worst Jokes Ever

Girlfriend: You remind me of a cell phone.

Girlfriend's ex: Why?

Girlfriend: Because you're about to die.

I put on my hazmat suit, and grabbed my equipment, and said, "My time to shine!"

Irritable Bowel Syndrome saved me from depression...

It’s hard to feel empty when you’re so full of shiii fuck ur mom.

So, at school there are these twins. At my school, I folded two paper airplanes to throw at them. Once I realized why it felt so wrong to do it, I had already threw them. I hit the north, then the south one.

I would rather be drugged and robbed by Cardi B than listen to her f***ing music.

Roses are red, violets are blue, When I take out the trash, I remember you.

Why is Biden a priest?

So kids call him father.

Why was Liverpool better than Man United? We won 5-0, and you have a sex offender on your team.

You get hit by a wave, but you don't get wet. Why?

You were hit by a shockwave!

Dear Orphans,

I have a better orphanage for you. It's my basement :)

Why do orphans want to die?

Because they might see their parents in Heaven.

My sister thinks she's so smart and funny. The only thing that is funny is her face.

Why did Helen Keller fail school? She was bad at language.

What's the best thing about stage 4 cancer... no stage 5.

Why do emo kids wear hoodies?

They hang easier.

What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?

One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer; the other's just a watermelon. 😁😁

What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?

Kids turn them on.

I would tell you a joke about 9/11, but it would come crashing down on you.

I tell a man, "Get me a Glock 19." He comes back with a glove. I was about to shout at him, but then I saw a pistol in his pocket, so I left and thanked him.

What’s a gay person’s favorite book?

The dictionary.