Worst Jokes Ever
I fucking hate school, god damn!
My grandpa warned people the Titanic would sink, but they wouldn’t listen, so he kept warning them. Then he was kicked out of the theater.
Why do the orphans fuck in their cars?
Because they don't know what a home is.
What's better than having unprotected sex? Getting an abortion.
What helped the Lakers win the Finals? Kobe's passing!
Jerry Garcia: I’m going on a TRIP today!
Bob Weir: Where are you going?
Jerry Garcia: I’m already on it. 😯🦄🌈
Last night I had the strangest dream!
I sailed away to China!
And I caught the coronavirus!
You said you needed to wash your hands!
Didn't want no one else to touch you! What does that mean?!
And you said!!
Ain't nothing gonna break my lungs 😤!
Ain't no way of slowing Covid down!
Oh no I've got to keep on coughing!!!
A fat man was checking his weight and sucking in his fat belly. A physicist saw it and said that's not how the law of conservation of mass works.
Plot twist: The fat man jumped on the physicist and proved him wrong. Now the physicist doesn't have mass.
Sandwiches are yummy! 😋
What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer?
We are both lawyers.
My friend told me to beat that pussy up... so why is the local animal control at my door?
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Your mom." "Your mom who?" "It's not your mom, it's my mom!"
"Knock, knock!""Who's there?""Abby."
"Abby who?""Your Mexican girlfriend."
"PENIS WAIT WHAT OENIS SUCK MINE DADDY?" Sorry, you are an orphan.
Why did the knight cross the road?
He can't because his armor was too heavy.
Coach: Why can't orphans play baseball?
Me: Because they can't get a homerun.
As I was eating this girl out, I thought I tasted some horse semen... I exclaimed, "Oh, Grandma! That's how you died!"
John, I like your cut, G.
The emo kid wanted a high five. I left him hanging, so did the tree.
What's the difference between a woman and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.