Worst Jokes Ever
🎆 New Year's Eve
Lil Johnny👦: "Every year the same, people always have to start banging before midnight!"
Mom👱🏻♀️: "Johnny, would you please leave the bedroom now?"
Dad👨🏻🦰: "Son, if you don't leave, it'll bang on your head!"
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water. Jack fell down, his cock was out, and Jill gained a daughter.
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
... family photo.
How do you keep a blind kid busy? Give him sandpaper and tell him it's a find-a-word. 😂🤣
Pain. Gained. Anxiety. Fulfilled. Insomnia. Depression. Always with me. Happiness... The one thing I can't have.
What does a depressed person and a jacket have in common?
They’re both hanging in the closet.
My friend said, "Why do you have depression? There is so much happiness in the world." And I said, "Why do you have asthma? There is so much air in the world."
Where would an astronaut park his spaceship? A parking meteor.
Why do we never make adult jokes in front of orphans?
Because the joke needs parental guidance.
What were the emo kid's pronouns?
Was/were.
How are peppers 🌶 so nosey?
They get jalapeño business.
What do you call a person who cares for chickens?
A chicken tender.
What time is it when you get home, can you walk home and walk?
You couldn't spit out a good sentence, even if you ate a bowl of alphabet soup.
So, I took a poop outside. When I was done, I wiped and got it on my finger. After that, I had Nutella, and I thought the poop on my hand was Nutella, and I licked it. I said, "Daddy chill, what in the heck is this crap?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Stop with the 9/11 jokes.
They're not gonna fly.
Fun fact: The body positivity movement is the only movement without any actual movement.
The people in the Democratic Party are how I like my coffee.
Black and bitter.
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it goes to get the milk yet never comes back.
Miss you dad.