Worst Jokes Ever
Friend: Hi, orphan.
Orphan: Tell me a yo momma joke.
Friend: ummm
Orphan: Exactly, U can't.
Friend: Yo momma so disappointed she left!
My grandpa died in 9/11. He crashed a plane.
Why can't orphans be gay? They have nobody to call "daddy."
Everyone else seems to have met my dad. I only have the mugshots.
Why do orphans love elevators?
They raise people!
I asked an emo kid if they were jealous because their phone died before them.
A phone is like parents. Not everyone has one.
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"
This is the true worst joke ever:
What did the person say to the other guy when he met him?
Hi!
Who is chicken's favorite actor?
James Cor-hen!
How did Michael Jackson challenge the victim's parents? "Then why won't you slap my face, because I'm bad?"
Rape jokes are so incredibly offensive to stupid women like me who don’t understand what comedy is.
What do mice eat for dinner?
Mac n Cheese.
Q: What's the difference between Jesus and a picture?
A: One uses one nail to hang.
How many dead slaves does it take to change a lightbulb?
Apparently, more than 6, because my basement is still dark.
One man was very depressed because he lost everything. He lost his job. He lost his home, and he lost his wife. So he went lonely into the forest to grieve.
Suddenly, with his head raised up, he sees Santa Claus walking by. "Santa?" he asks. "Why are you early? It is not even Christmas?"
"Ho, ho. Don't worry about me. Let's worry about you instead," says Santa. "What is the problem, my friend?"
"I lost everything good in my life. I got fired from my job. My wife divorced me. I lost my house."
Santa: "I can help you. You can wish three things you want in life, and I'll give it to you."
Man: "My first wish is I want my house back."
Santa: "Done!"
Man: "My second wish is I want 1 million in cash in my bank account."
Santa: "Done!"
Man: "My third wish is I also want my job back!"
Santa: "Done, but before I actually give you those wishes, I have to hump you."
Man: "Okay. Let's do it."
So Santa Claus takes off his pants to hump the man.
After they are done humping, Santa asks the man: "How old are you?"
Man: "I am 35 years old."
Santa: "And still believe in Santa Claus??!! HOHOHOHO!!!"
Ever heard of a reverse exorcism? It’s when the Devil tells the priest to exit the child’s body.
When does a pentagon not have 5 sides?
When it’s intersected by a plane.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, You slept with my cousin but I did too.
A woman walks into a dentist's office, sits on the counter, and spreads her legs.
The dentist says, "I think you have the wrong idea with that." The woman replies, "Last week you gave my husband his false teeth; now you can get them out."