Worst Jokes Ever
Yo mama so fat it took her 3 seconds to cross the Great Wall of China.
I tried making vegetable soup yesterday, but I couldn’t fit the wheelchair in the pot.
What do you do after raping a deaf mute eight-year-old girl? Smash the little bitch's hands with a hammer so she can't tell her mum.
Why was 10 afraid? Because he was 'tween 9 and 11.
My favorite bath bomb is a toaster.
Why is it okay to stab meat, but I can't stab myself? These woke lefties, BLM, Antifa, feminists, eco-warriors, pro-vaccine libtards are stopping your freedom and right to stab yourself!
How do two emo kids greet each other?
"I like ya cut, G."
What do you call an emo cancer kid?
Chemo.
We used to be the tallest buildings in New York...
Then we took an Arab to the knee.
Straight men change their girlfriends like they change their undies. So, about once a month.
The man was dangling by a string!
I was jealous the day he died.
I called a suicide hotline in Iraq... They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
I got caught peeing in the pool.
The lifeguard blew his whistle so hard I nearly fell in!
A teacher was teaching her second-grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is.
When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and asked him what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, “Look at it this way: I’m the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the workforce, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.”
“I still don’t get it,” responded Little Johnny.
“Why don’t you sleep on it then? Maybe you’ll understand it better,” said the dad.
“Okay then...good night,” said Little Johnny, and went off to bed.
In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother’s crying. He went to his baby brother’s crib and found that his baby brother shit in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent’s room to get help. When he got to his parent’s bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole, he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn’t there. So he went to the maid’s room. When he looked through the maid’s room keyhole, he saw his dad fucking his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, "OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is fucking the workforce, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of shit!"
7 year old Christian: *walks up to atheist menacingly* YoU nEeD sOmE jEsUs SaViNg!
Atheist: You prey to a Jewish zombie and I need saving?
What is the difference between a priest and a zit?
The zit waits until you're twelve to come on your face.
What do you call a dwarf in a drawer?
Gay.
Yo mama so clueless, she dialed 911 on the microwave.
My wife left a note on the fridge. The note read, "It's not working." I don't know what she's talking about. I opened the fridge, and it worked fine!
Me at the Anti-Orphan Jokes convention. 💣🗡🔪🧨🔫