Worst Jokes Ever
Sister, you're ugly.
Other sister: I'm not your reflection.
PS. Sorry if it is not funny.
So there’s this air purifier in my room, right? It’s really noisy, so I unplugged it to sleep better, and sure enough, I fell asleep faster. So I came to the conclusion: if I unplug noisy machines, people will sleep better.
It worked really well in my local hospital.
What were my final words to Putin before I put a bullet through his head?
Answer: Putin, put out!
Why do orphans hate playing sports in school?
Because they never get picked.
"You did great!"
"Come here and get your prize, a shiny quarter!"
"Nah, that's okay."
"Here's the quarterback."
"You don't want the quarter?"
"No! Quarterback!"
"Huh?"
(Crashes) (screams)
"Yo, sorry 'bout that."
"You think he's gonna be mad?"
"Who? Baldi?"
"Nah, he doesn't have a HAIR in the world!"
(Annoying Orange laughs) (Baldi groans)
My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"
Do you know why I finger women with my left hand?
Because they don’t deserve rights!
OK, OK, what's up with the fake Gwens? I am going to use a test to see who is real or not.
The real Gwen will know this. When did I come onto this website? Next question, what is my real name, and do I go on cursing rampages? Only the real Gwen can complete this test with the right answers.
Why can't you run through a campground?
Because it's "past tents!"
I went into the supermarket; everything was half off. Of course, I took the bottom half of Spider-Man.
Who were the people that survived 9/11?
The ones who decided it would be a good idea to jump.
What does a pregnant lady and pigs have in common?
They're both fat.
How do fuck a really fat chick?
Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.
Waiter: Can I have your order?
Me: No, it’s mine!
I'm going to do a song that's called "Falling" by Trevor Daniel... so here it goes.
My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything Talk to me, I need to hear you need me like I need ya Fall for me, I wanna know you feel how I feel for you, love Before you, baby, I was numb, drowned out pain by pouring up Speeding fast on the run, never want to get caught up Now you the one that I'm calling Swore that I'd never fall again, don't think I'm just talking I think I might go all in, no exceptions, girl, I need ya Think I'm out of my mind, 'cause I can't get enough Only one that I give my time, 'cause I got eyes for ya Might make an exception for ya, 'cause I been feeling ya Think I might be out of my mind, I think that you're the one My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything I'll never give my all again 'Cause I'm sick of falling down When I open up and give my trust They find a way to break it down Tear me up inside, and you break me down.
Oh, yeah! FRESHFRY fucked a boy!
Don't say "stay positive" to the wrong doctor.
You know why they call her Wonder Woman?
She's always wondering where she parked her invisible jet.
I bought a horse and named him Mayo.
Sometimes Mayo neighs.
Your mom is so stupid, she got lost in Bed Bath & Beyond and slept on the floor.