Worst Jokes Ever

I like my men like I like my coffee: black and hot.

Teacher: Describe Ukraine history in 3 words?

Student: Ukraine is history!

If I had a genie grant me wishes, I wouldn't wish for a million pounds. I'd just wish that every time I buy something I just have the right amount of money in my pocket at the time.

Your mama so white that her first number was 911.

Black humor is when you ask water to African people.

My dad told me Santa was black, so instead of cookies and milk waiting for him when he came down the chimney, he got cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.

I have a friend who recently stopped smoking, and the withdrawal was causing hallucination. He went to my house and thought there was a shark in the pond in my backyard. So, I would like to dedicate these lyrics to my friend: "I see a dreamer over there by the water!"

What do you call Nicki Minaj covered in glue?

Sticky Minaj.

How do you make a plumber die?

You kill his family.

Q: Why did the cow touch an electric fence?

A: Because it wanted to get electrocowted! 🐄

I remember having a crush on my math teacher, so I winked at her and said, "Don't worry, babe, I'll call you later."

Why didn’t the moon eat dinner?

Because it was full! 🌕

If the longest word in history is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, then it's big cousin would [be] something longer, right?

Nope, something way longer:

BEHO-methionyl​threonyl​threonyl​glutaminyl​alanyl​prolyl​threonyl​phenyl​alanyl​threonyl​glutaminyl​prolyl​leucyl​glutaminyl​seryl​valyl​valyl​valyl​leucyl​glutamyl​glycyl​seryl​threonyl​alanyl​threonyl​phenyl​alanyl​glutamyl​alanyl​histidyl​isoleucyl​seryl​glycyl​phenyl​alanyl​prolyl​valyl​prolyl​glutamyl​valyl​seryl​tryptophyl​phenyl​alanyl​arginyl​aspartyl​glycyl​glutaminyl​valyl​isoleucyl​seryl​threonyl​seryl​threonyl​leucyl​prolyl​glycyl​valyl​glutaminyl​isoleucyl​seryl​phenyl​alanyl​seryl​aspartyl​glycyl​arginyl​alanyl​lysyl​leucyl​threonyl​isoleucyl​prolyl​alanyl​valyl​threonyl​lysyl​alanyl​asparaginyl​seryl​glycyl​arginyl​tyrosyl​seryl​leucyl​lysyl​alanyl​threonyl​asparaginyl​glycyl​seryl​glycyl​glutaminyl​alanyl​threonyl​seryl​threonyl​alanyl​glutamyl​leucyl​leucyl​valyl​lysyl​alanyl​glutamyl​threonyl​alanyl​prolyl​prolyl​asparaginyl​phenyl​alanyl​valyl​glutaminyl​arginyl​leucyl​glutaminyl​seryl​methionyl​threonyl​valyl​arginyl​glutaminyl​glycyl​seryl​glutaminyl​valyl​arginyl​leucyl​glutaminyl​valyl​arginyl​valyl​threonyl​glycyl​isoleucyl​prolyl​asparaginyl​prolyl​valyl​valyl​lysyl​phenyl​alanyl​tyrosyl​arginyl​aspartyl​glycyl​alanyl​glutamyl​isoleucyl​glutaminyl​seryl​seryl​leucyl​aspartyl​phenyl​alanyl​glutaminyl​isoleucyl​seryl​glutaminyl​glutamyl​glycyl​aspartyl​leucyl​tyrosyl​seryl​leucyl​leucyl​isoleucyl​alanyl​glutamyl​alanyl​tyrosyl​prolyl​glutamyl​aspartyl​seryl​glycyl​threonyl​tyrosyl​seryl​valyl​asparaginyl​alanyl​threonyl​asparaginyl​seryl​valyl​glycyl​arginyl​alanyl​threonyl​seryl​threonyl​alanyl​glutamyl​leucyl​leucyl​valyl​glutaminyl​glycyl​glutamyl​glutamyl​glutamyl​valyl​prolyl​alanyl​lysyl​lysyl​threonyl​lysyl​threonyl​isoleucyl​valyl​seryl​threonyl​alanyl​glutaminyl​isoleucyl​seryl​glutamyl​seryl​arginyl​glutaminyl​threonyl​arginyl​isoleucyl​glutamyl​lysyl​lysyl​isoleucyl​glutamyl​alanyl​histidyl​phenyl​alanyl​aspartyl​alanyl​arginyl​seryl​isoleucyl​alanyl​threonyl​valyl​glutamyl​methionyl​valyl​isoleucyl​aspartyl​glycyl​alanyl​alanyl​glycyl​glutaminyl​glutaminyl​leucyl​prolyl​histidyl​lysyl​threonyl​prolyl​prolyl​arginyl​isoleucyl​prolyl​prolyl​lysyl​prolyl​lysyl​seryl​arginyl​seryl​prolyl​threonyl​prolyl​prolyl​seryl​isoleucyl​alanyl​alanyl​lysyl​alanyl​glutaminyl​leucyl​alanyl​arginyl​glutaminyl​glutaminyl​seryl​prolyl​seryl​prolyl​isoleucyl​arginyl​histidyl​seryl​prolyl​seryl​prolyl​valyl​arginyl​histidyl​valyl​arginyl​alanyl​prolyl​threonyl​prolyl​seryl​prolyl​valyl​arginyl​seryl​valyl​seryl​prolyl​alanyl​alanyl​arginyl​isoleucyl​seryl​threonyl​seryl​prolyl​isoleucyl​arginyl​seryl​valyl​arginyl​seryl​prolyl​leucyl​leucyl​methionyl​arginyl​lysyl​threonyl​glutaminyl​alanyl​seryl​threonyl​valyl​alanyl​threonyl​glycyl​prolyl​glutamyl​valyl​prolyl​prolyl​prolyl​tryptophyl​lysyl​glutaminyl​glutamyl​glycyl​tyrosyl​valyl​alanyl​seryl​seryl​seryl​glutamyl​alanyl​glutamyl​methionyl​arginyl​glutamyl​threonyl​threonyl​leucyl​threonyl​threonyl​seryl​threonyl​glutaminyl​isoleucyl​arginyl​threonyl​glutamyl​glutamyl​arginyl​tryptophyl​glutamyl​glycyl​arginyl​tyrosyl​glycyl​valyl​glutaminyl​glutamyl​glutaminyl​valyl​threonyl​isoleucyl​seryl​glycyl​alanyl​alanyl​glycyl​alanyl​alanyl​alanyl​seryl​valyl​seryl​alanyl​seryl​alanyl​seryl​tyrosyl​alanyl​alanyl​glutamyl​alanyl​valyl​alanyl​threonyl​glycyl​alanyl​lysyl​glutamyl​valyl​lysyl​glutaminyl​aspartyl​alanyl​aspartyl​lysyl​seryl​alanyl​alanyl​valyl​alanyl​threonyl​valyl​valyl​alanyl​alanyl​valyl​aspartyl​methionyl​alanyl​arginyl​valyl​arginyl​glutamyl​prolyl​valyl​isoleucyl​seryl​alanyl​valyl​glutamyl​glutaminyl​threonyl​alanyl​glutaminyl​arginyl​threonyl​threonyl​threonyl​threonyl​alanyl​valyl​histidyl​isoleucyl​glutaminyl​prolyl​alanyl​glutaminyl​glutamyl​glutaminyl​valyl​arginyl​lysyl​glutamyl​alanyl​glutamyl​lysyl​threonyl​alanyl​valyl​threonyl​lysyl​valyl​valyl​valyl​alanyl​alanyl​aspartyl​lysyl​alanyl​lysyl​glutamyl​glutaminyl​glutamyl​leucyl​lysyl​seryl​arginyl​threonyl​lysyl​glutamyl​isoleucyl​isoleucyl​threonyl​threonyl​lysyl​glutaminyl​glutamyl​glutaminyl​methionyl​histidyl​valyl​threonyl​histidyl​glutamyl​glutaminyl​isoleucyl​arginyl​lysyl​glutamyl​threonyl​glutamyl​lysyl​threonyl​phenyl​alanyl​valyl​prolyl​lysyl​valyl​valyl​isoleucyl​seryl​alanyl​alanyl​lysyl​alanyl​lysyl​glutamyl​glutaminyl​glutamyl​threonyl​arginyl​isoleucyl​seryl​glutamyl​glutamyl​isoleucyl​threonyl​lysyl​lysyl​glutaminyl​lysyl​glutaminyl​valyl​threonyl​glutaminyl​glutamyl​alanyl​isoleucyl​methionyl​lysyl​glutamyl​threonyl​arginyl​lysyl​threonyl​valyl​valyl​prolyl​lysyl​valyl​isoleucyl​valyl​alanyl​threonyl​prolyl​lysyl​valyl​lysyl​glutamyl​glutaminyl​aspartyl​leucyl​valyl​seryl​arginyl​glycyl​arginyl​glutamyl​glycyl​isoleucyl​threonyl​threonyl​lysyl​arginyl​glutamyl​glutaminyl​valyl​glutaminyl​isoleucyl​threonyl​glutaminyl​glutamyl​lysyl​methionyl​arginyl​lysyl​glutamyl​alanyl​glutamyl​lysyl​threon

Driver's License-By- watersharky Music Productions and Olivia Rodrigo-

I got my driver's license last week Just like we always talked about 'Cause you were so excited for me To finally drive up to your house But today I drove through the suburbs Crying 'cause you weren't around And you're probably with that blonde girl Who always made me doubt She's so much older than me She's everything I'm insecure about Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs 'Cause how could I ever love someone else? And I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street And all my friends are tired Of hearing how much I miss you, but I kinda feel sorry for them 'Cause they'll never know you the way that I do, yeah Today I drove through the suburbs And pictured I was driving home to you And I know we weren't perfect But I've never felt this way for no one, oh And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay, now that I'm gone I guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street Red lights, stop signs I still see your face in the white cars, front yards Can't drive past the places we used to go to 'Cause I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh) Sidewalks we crossed I still hear your voice in the traffic, we're laughing Over all the noise God, I'm so blue, know we're through But I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh) I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay, now that I'm gone 'Cause you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street Yeah, you said forever, now I drive alone past your street...

A man once went to a doctor because his leg was turning blue.

The doctor said that his leg had to be amputated as it was getting poisonous.

The man then got plastic prosthetics.

Next day even the prosthetics started turning blue.

After much examination, the doctor found that the patient's pants were shedding color.

If I had a dollar for every brain cell LEO has, I’d have one dollar.

They say birds of a feather flock together, so I guess that’s why Kris and common sense haven’t met yet.

Why did the rapper bring a map to the studio?

Because he was searching for the PERFECT FLOW.

I'm reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is about to happen, I can FEEL it!

What do you call a rapper who LOVES to cook?

Lil' Spice