Worst Jokes Ever
What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave? A microwave doesn't brown your meat.
I asked my doctor if it was normal for one of my nuts to be bigger than the other two.
Maybe if I fall in love with my depression, it'll leave me too.
Grew up playing Fruit Ninja on my iPad. Spent time with my online sister playing multiplayer.
Now I play it in school with an awesome small steel blade.
I’m not allowed my phone during school hours and I have to give it in at the start of the day...
My pregnant wife said we were gonna name the kid Digiorno. She wouldn't tell me why until she got an abortion and told me, "It's not delivery, it's Digiorno."
So skinny you have to run around in the shower to get wet.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, but Jill fell down and Jack came tumbling down after.
(And you thought this would be a joke.)
Why did Hitler stop playing Golf?
He kept getting stuck in the Bunker.
What's an orphan's high school nickname? "Lone Stone."
Why go across the street when you can just go down the hall, lol?
Two teenagers were raping an 11-year-old girl in an alley, so I stepped in to help. The little bitch didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, but laughing at YOU!
What's a school shooter's favorite flower?
Columbine.
Stop making 9/11 jokes. They don't land so well.
In my free time, I like to help blind people.
Verb, not adjective.
What time do butts get up? At the crack of dawn!!!
Why does Michael Jackson have such a hard time playing chess?
He can't choose between black or white.
An orphan is like marriage. The kid is always the reason for divorce. The kid is always the reason for his parents leaving him.
I just got kicked out of the fucking library for putting the women's rights in the fiction section.
I ain't shaking anyone's hand, not because of the Coronavirus... I ain't shaking anyone's hand because y'all out of toilet paper!