Worst Jokes Ever
There was a man who had just moved from a foreign country. He just moved into his apartment and was watching his favorite TV shows. The first one was "me-me-me, me-me-me, me-me-me-me-me-me-me," the second one was "forks and knives, forks and knives, all I use is forks and knives," and the last one was "BRING IT ON, FAT MAN!!"
There had been a murder in the area, and the man was walking in the park when a cop showed up and asked him, "Sir, have you seen this man?" and held up a photo. The man said "me-me-me, me-me-me, me-me-me-me-me-me-me." The cop said, "Sir, what did you use?" and the man said "forks and knives, forks and knives, all I use is forks and knives." After that, the cop said, "Sir, I'm going to have to arrest you," and the man said "BRING IT ON, FAT MAN!!" The screen goes black, and all you can here "chk-chk. BANG"
What is an astronaut's favorite letter on a keyboard?
SPACE.
What did Michael Jackson say when he became a triangle? Tetraheehee!
Hears a clean joke: My horse got muddy, so I gave him a bubble bath.
Now hears a dirty joke: Bubbles is the horse next door.
People see this Rolex and they kill themselves.
Motherfucker, that's a suicide watch!
What does a bullied kid say during a game of Kahoot?
"I'd like to Kahoot up this school."
How do you know when your wife is dead?
The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.
What did the helicopter say?
Helicopter: "Kobe!"
What happens when an angel and nun "have some fun and forget pills"?
The nun gets pregNUNt.
What do you call a girl with only one leg? Eileen.
What about an Asian girl with only one leg? Irene.
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
What do noodles and women have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them.
What do you call two homeless people throwing rocks at each other?
A pillow fight.
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture? You need only one nail to hang a picture, unfortunately.
What do my mom and a basketball have in common?
My mom's tits and ass are bouncy, just like a basketball.
My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.
If I flip off an Asian person, he can't see it.
Yo mama is so dumb that she went to the eye doctor just to buy an iPhone.
Man 1: Dude, Viagra is for pussies. Real men don’t need Viagra.
Man 2: I thought Viagra was for dicks?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Fuck.
Fuck who?
Fuck off!