Worst Jokes Ever
You can laugh at how men are stupid. But remember their favorite thing.
It starts with "M" and ends with "arriage".
If you guessed "Marriage" you're stupid. It's miscarriage and don't forget it. The joke never gets old to him. Just like the baby.
Who's the best at musical chairs?
Stephen Hawking.
A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won't open."
Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer."
Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now."
When an emo kid jumps out of a tree, what happens when he hits the ground?
Nothin' much, he just flops over an hour later when they untie the rope.
So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.
One man's pet is another man's dinner.
It's not rape if you're both crying.
What does BLM stand for?
Bisexual Lives Matter.
Where do suicide bombers go?... Everywhere.
How do you blindfold an Asian?
With dental floss.
Why did Yoda go to jail for rape?
He doesn't get consent; he just uses the force.
What's worse than depression & suicide?
Easy: LIVING. Everyday you wish you were dead but then reality hits you in the face that you're still alive and have to suffer living.
Pretend or not pretend, we have to decide everyday even if we don't pretend no one will notice :) no one ever does :). Living is the problem to everything. We get depression cuz of it and so much. Why can't we just die :)?
Do your buses run on time?
No, they run on diesel.
Rape is such an ugly word, I prefer the term "struggle snuggle."
How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using the computer?
There is sperm on the computer screen.
I know a good airplane joke, but it would probably go over your heads.
The twin towers: No, it won't.
Q. What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?
A. A seatbelt.
What's the difference between property and women? At least property still retains some value after getting wrecked.
2020 was the first time Kobe had passed in years.
Kid: Dad, what is it like to be drunk?
Dad: You see those two trees over there? If you were drunk, you would see four.
Kid: Dad, there is only one tree.