Worst Jokes Ever
It's not rape if you're both crying.
Where do suicide bombers go?... Everywhere.
What's worse than depression & suicide?
Easy: LIVING. Everyday you wish you were dead but then reality hits you in the face that you're still alive and have to suffer living.
Pretend or not pretend, we have to decide everyday even if we don't pretend no one will notice :) no one ever does :). Living is the problem to everything. We get depression cuz of it and so much. Why can't we just die :)?
Why did Yoda go to jail for rape?
He doesn't get consent; he just uses the force.
How do you blindfold an Asian?
With dental floss.
Do your buses run on time?
No, they run on diesel.
Rape is such an ugly word, I prefer the term "struggle snuggle."
How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using the computer?
There is sperm on the computer screen.
I know a good airplane joke, but it would probably go over your heads.
The twin towers: No, it won't.
2020 was the first time Kobe had passed in years.
Kid: Dad, what is it like to be drunk?
Dad: You see those two trees over there? If you were drunk, you would see four.
Kid: Dad, there is only one tree.
Q. What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?
A. A seatbelt.
I cried when my dad cut up onions. Onions was a good dog.
Why did the orphan commit suicide?
So he could find home.
Are you a knife? Because damn, I want you inside of me ;)
What's the difference between property and women? At least property still retains some value after getting wrecked.
Jack quietly crawled through Jill’s bedroom window, trying not to make a single noise. She sat on her bed, her back facing him. Jack tiptoed up behind her, laid his hands on her shoulders and said, in a rather sensual tone,
“Boo.”
“Jack!” She yelled, “what are you doing here?”
Jack sat down next to her and smiled.
“I figured today was a good day to maybe go up to the hill?” He said.
“That sounds fun,” said Jill.
“C’mon, let’s go!”
The kids climbed down from Jill’s second story window. They frolicked around in the fields, hair swaying in the wind, as they neared the nearby hill. Jack took Jill’s hand, and they skipped up to the very top of the hill. They sat down on the bright green grass and giggled.
“You ready?” Asked Jack.
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Jill replied with a wink.
Jack laid his hand on Jill’s chest, softly pushing her onto her back. He got down on his knees, and bent down to the bottom of her dress.
“I’ve waited a long time for this...” he whispered.
Jack slowly pulled up Jill’s dress with one hand, running the other up her thigh. His anticipation was building faster and faster. He looked her in the eyes as he slowly pulled down her panties. Once they were all the way off, he turned his head downward. His mouth opened, his eyes went wide. Jack was speechless. Before he could say anything, Jill slammed his head down, gagging him with her giant cock. She sat up as she slammed his head up and down. Jack began to feel dizzy as he gagged and coughed.
“Silly Jack, didn’t you know? I’m not Jill. I never was. My name’s Randy. You’re mine now, Jack. So sit back, enjoy the ride.” Said Randy.
Randy moved Jack’s head faster and faster as he threw his head back. It was coming, fast. All of a sudden, he stopped. Jack’s head stood still as his mouth became a fountain of white, drizzling all over Randy’s legs and onto the grass. Randy let go and Jack jumped back, spitting and trying to get it all out of his mouth. Just as the dizziness began to fade, Randy walked over. The last thing Jack saw was Randy’s fist hurtling towards him...
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer.
These jokes are weak like the structure of the towers.
What do EMO kids use as birth control? Their Personalities.