Worst Jokes Ever
*moans*
After you read this post, you will forget you were gay.
Teacher: Jeff, why did you throw a paper plane at the twins?
Jeff: You wouldn't get it, miss.
Jake: Can I go outside?
Mom: Did you clean your room?
Jake: No.
Mom: Then f*ck no.
Jake: Alright, bet.
(Brother named No)
The last thing the victims were thinking was, "Is there 9 or 11 stories?"
I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
When people say they get ho's: You don't get no ho's, the only ho's you get is in yo draws.
*America shoots down balloon*
China: "You killed an innocent man!!"
USA: "What?!"
China: "Yes, he was a famous sumo wrestler."
Why can't an orphan be a criminal? Because they are not wanted.
Stephen Hawking's best subjects were Physics and Maths. His worst was P.E.
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb?
To get to the other side.
I have 25 friends from the alphabet, but don't ask me why.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don’t know where home is.
How many emos does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, because they just cry in the darkness.
Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar?
They don’t have fathers or Mother’s Day.
Reese's.
Reese's who? Re-sees with deez nuts!
John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: "I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theater."
Fiancee: "Break a leg!"
Knock knock. Who's there? Stephen Hawking. Wheelie?
How do you piss off a feminist? You rape her.
Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?