Worst Jokes Ever

The earth was once flat... until they buried your mom.

Wife: Honey, I’m pregnant. Husband: Hi Pregnant, I’m dad. Wife: No, you’re not.

I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair and screamed, "Rocket League!"

Your mama's so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "To be continued."

*moans*

Hey girl, are you a scientist?

Cause you made my thing into a baking soda volcano.

What’s a gay person’s favorite race track?

Rainbow Road.

Q: What did the Buffalo say to his son when he left for college?

A: Bison.

Teacher: Jeff, why did you throw a paper plane at the twins?

Jeff: You wouldn't get it, miss.

Jake: Can I go outside?

Mom: Did you clean your room?

Jake: No.

Mom: Then f*ck no.

Jake: Alright, bet.

(Brother named No)

Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"

Student: "A drinking problem."

Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.

I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.

When people say they get ho's: You don't get no ho's, the only ho's you get is in yo draws.

College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you, or they'll send your kid back.

Why couldn't Jesus have been born in Florida?

Answer: They wouldn't be able to find "Three Wise Men" or a virgin!

Egg shaped, dome, bowling ball lookin' ass, bald fuck with that 360 degrees ahh head, motherfucker look like a damn balloon.

Call me Kobe 'cause I'm finna use your head as a basketball and throw it at yo' parents. Mr. Clean, bootleg Saitama lookin' ass mfer. No hair? :(

What's the difference between BTS and Futurama? There's only one Bender in Futurama.

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? Glock, glock.