Worst Jokes Ever
You're so much like a marshmallow, you're so squishy and sticky, and everyone puts their sticks inside of you.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
My name is Ach.
Ach who?
Bless you!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
It's me. I can't get in because Stephen Hawking is in the way.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
Answer: They don’t know where home is.
Fila is a cool brand. I fill a cock in your man's pussy.
Welcome to codi's pizzeria and abortion clinic; your loss is our sauce!
I pooped in a bottle and stuck my finger through it.
I took some of the boo boo out, licked it, and rubbed it on a wall, making a BOO BOO portal. I jumped into it and I saw BOO BOO LAND. I rolled all in the chunk poop and drank the diarrhea.
Bro wtf is all this!?
Like fr tho none of this be funny... messed up af to joke abt sum shii that ppl go thru.
Sususususususu su usus u sussu susu susus us ususususus sususus red sussy amogus susususususus.
Have you seen the movie "Constipated?"
It hasn’t come out yet.
How do you fit a baby in a glass?
A blender.
How do you get it out?
Explosives!
I was listening to my children praying, and my youngest that can speak said to me: "Mama, why is Gramma dead?"
I smiled and told her, "Well, less than 10 years ago when I was 5, your age, my Momma took me into the basement with some hot rando during a party. And 9 months later Shinana was born. One Pedo after another and your 4 siblings were born. The Pedo I met last night told me, 'If your mother's the one making you do this, do what you do best.' I listened and the next day she didn't leave her bed breathing. When the Pedo found out he left me and your soon to be brother."
She replies with, "Make his child support expensive!" Now he has to pay me 2,000 U.S. dollars every month, like the other ones that ran away.
What was Jesus scared of the most?
Snails.
You walk inside a building, then you see a blind German, then you call him his name.
Answer: Nazi.
Give me the most likes on this site.
A man was raping a woman and thought the year was 1970, and he exclaimed to the judge later that he was her husband.
She got sent to the Asylum for Hysteria.
Wait, what? Was he actually her husband?
He was a Christian, so that actually meant he was AFTER the rape.
Wait, what? The Bible doesn't say that.
Actually yes, it does, and marital rape was legal until 1990.
WAIT WHAT? That's not funny.
I'll tell ya what's funny, that you think the women have nothing to complain about.
Little Johnny once was at a camp and asked his teacher if he could sleep with her because he was homesick, so the teacher said yes. A few seconds later, Little Johnny asked if he could run his finger in her bellybutton, and she said yes.
A few seconds later, she moaned and felt so good, but it was not his finger putting it down her bellybutton; it was his dick and her penis.
Bitches do be so flat, you would think they have breast cancer.
Help me...
When a kid says, "I'm a pedophile," it means that he has a crush on one of his classmates.
When an adult says it, he is accused as a rapper.