Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

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A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.

They had great seats right behind their team's bench.

After the game, the guy asked his girlfriend how she liked the experience.

"Oh, I really liked it!" she replied, "Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"

She said, "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!' I’m like, hellooooo! It’s only 25 cents!"

Why do orphans only have 363 days of the year? They don't have Mother's or Father's Day.

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    • Person 1: Goodness, when is Michael Jackson going to stop eating these white chocolate truffles? He is already making a goddamn mess on his bed eating a few of them.

    Person 2: Well, he cannot resist the little white balls.

    You can laugh at how men are stupid. But remember their favorite thing.

    It starts with "M" and ends with "arriage".

    If you guessed "Marriage" you're stupid. It's miscarriage and don't forget it. The joke never gets old to him. Just like the baby.

    So, my sister is a feminist. I asked her, "Do you want to hear a rape joke?" She said no. I still decided to force one down her throat anyway.

    A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won't open."

    Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer."

    Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now."

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    • When an emo kid jumps out of a tree, what happens when he hits the ground?

    Nothin' much, he just flops over an hour later when they untie the rope.

    So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.