Worst Jokes Ever
I have a friend named Mole.
She plays a game called "sandbox" to dig up dirt...
Wanna know what my favorite feeling is? Warmth. Fuck, I left the oven on!
Yo hairline is a distraction to my education.
What do lovely men and tampons have in common?
Both lick up the juices of the women they were made for.
When the school shooter finds you under the table,
"Wonderful weather we're having!"
When the school shooter kills five people, and the autistic kid yells, "Heroes never die!"
Now you should let your imagination work... imagine naked Jesus with an erection... and nail holes in his hands...
What do you call two Michael J. Fox's standing next to each other?
Parallel Parkinson's.
A farmer has 3 fat ugly cows. One is named Xia. The next is named Chiang. What's the third?
Yu.
What does your mum have in common with your dad?
They are both men.
Once there were three Indians. Two were smart and one was... not so smart.
One day, the first smart Indian went out hunting. He came back with a dead deer. The not so smart Indian asks "How'd you do it?"
The smart one replies, "I followed the deer tracks, shot the deer, and brought it home."
The next day, the next smart Indian goes out. He comes back with a dead bear. The not so smart Indian asks once again "How'd you do it?"
The smart one replies, "I followed the bear tracks, shot the bear, and brought it home."
Finally, it's now the not so smart Indian's turn to go hunt. Multiple hours had passed since he left. The smart Indians go out to search for him. They finally find him, bloodied and on the verge of dying. The smart Indians exclaimed "WHAT HAPPENED!"
The not so smart Indian replies,
"Well I... I followed the train tracks, an... and shot th- the train... bu- but it kept going..."
I help suicidal people.
BTW verb not adjective.
Why is your mom's butt so smelly? Cause she wipes poorly.
You wanna hear a joke?
You.
FRIEND: Hey, want to come to my house?
LONELY ORPHAN/TRUMP: Want to come to my orphange?
FRIEND: Dude, I'm blocking you!
LONELY ORPHAN: :(
A man walks in a bar. Ouchie!
Roses are red, My cat try to kill your next >:)
Why are Americans bad at Clash of Clans?
Because they’ve already lost 2 towers.
Why did the Indian man refuse to use deodorant? Because he wanted to smell like his natural habitat, the shitter.
What's the difference between me and you?
I leave white stains in your mom's bed, and you leave white stains in my mom's bed!