Worst Jokes Ever

If you are ever mad, punch an orphan.

What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.

So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.

Guys, can we change pride month to another month, please? My birthday is in June, and I'm not gay, and my friends keep making fun of me. I think we should change it to March because my brother's birthday is in March, and that'd be funny.

Are you a train because I want to get railed by you? ;)

Why was Stephen Hawking never trusted when taking a quiz?

"No computers allowed on the test!"

"Jack Sparrow."

"Captain, Captain Jack Sparrow!"

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your mom gay, And so are you.

I met an amazing girl online. Smart, sexy... uninhibited.

Of course it turned out to be a 12 year old paraplegic boy... I have to admit... The sex was disappointing.

Why do an emo's parents not let them cook, because they are afraid they will cut themselves?

Why do orphans eat their breakfast with water?

Because their dad didn't come back with the milk.

On my 21st Birthday, my mom told me, "I got a nice birthday present for you. As the son and only child, you're going to get something good, something you've been looking forward to," is what my mom said.

Me, my mom, and my only friend celebrated my Birthday, then we all went to sleep. I woke up the next day. I asked, "Hey, where's my gift you said you got me?" My mom said, "Since your father left us, you have no father figure in your life, so this is your new stepfather." The only thing is, it was my only friend.

Could never understand why people would say Stephen Hawking is a dead man walking.

News: Ook! says an interviewed monkey.

Why was the chicken screaming?

He had an egg stuck in his butt.

My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.

Why was the orphan eating cereal with water? Because he has no dad to bring him milk.

What do you call a person that can't operate a wheelchair?

Stephen Hawking.

Welcome to Joe's abortion clinic! No fetus can beat us! You make 'em, we take 'em!

What do clothes and emo kids have in common?

They both get hung.

I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"