Worst Jokes Ever
So last week I gave my blind friend a cheese grater. The next two weeks he told me that was the most violent book he has ever read.
Gf: Babe, do you love me?
Bf: Count the stars and that's how much I love you.
Gf: But it's morning, sweetie...
Bf: Exactly.
Gf: :0, I'll take that as a no.
Why can't orphans steal bases?
Because they can't find home.
Well, we've removed all of the excess fat from your body, and all that's left, I'm afraid, is the wig, Mrs. Trump.
What is the most annoying thing your parents say to you, and what is the dumbest thing someone can say that annoys you?
The most annoying thing your parents can say: "Finish your dinner, there are starving kids in Africa!" No, you can't have any dessert until you finish your dinner. (See how annoying that is!)
The dumbest thing someone can say that annoys you: "Why is your name Crayla? Why is your last name Goldburg? Is it like a gold bird!" (That is really annoying if you ask me!)
Thanks for reading this...bye!
"Bill swift here, you make them, we take them!"
Why did the orphan go to jail? Because he could finally have a home.
I saw a little kid crying today. I asked where his parents were, and he started to cry more. I left the orphanage to get some milk after that.
What do you call a group of teenage emos?
Suicide squad.
"I'm the big man, catching the kids in my big van." - Ben 2021
Tongue Trick Sex: The Movie.
Not coming soon!
My grandfather has been through a lot in his time. When he was in the war, he survived a mustard gas attack. And later down the line, he survived being pepper sprayed by the police. He was certainly a real seasoned veteran.
Why do they call it abortion? Because they aborted the mission.
I know how unicorns make babies. The dad puts his horn in the girl's butt hole.
What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street?
Put them in a barking lot!
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms and no legs?
Matt!
You don't have a forehead, you have a fivehead.
You don't have dreams, you have movies.
Why couldn't the GREAT WHITE beat the HAMMERHEAD?
because the GREAT WHITE kept getting BONKED on the HEAD by the HAMMERHEAD!
What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?
On a school bus, the pricks are on the inside.
A father awaits the birth of his first child.
The obstetrician says, "Unfortunately, he has no arms."
The father says, "I'll love it all the same."
But the obstetrician adds, "It is also without legs, trunk, head."
The father says, "I'll love it all the same."
Then the obstetrician confessed to him, "I'm sorry, but only this ear was born."
The father says, "I'll love it all the same."
And the obstetrician says, "Talk to him closer: he's deaf!"