Worst Jokes Ever
What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?
Dollar a pop!
Get it?
What is the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
What were my great grandpa's last words?
"SHIT MG42!!!"
Why does an orphan always try to escape the orphanage?
Because he wants to get money to buy a family since they won't buy him.
If you think about it, then adoption is the last choice for getting a child, so those who are adopted were the last choice.
What did the purple grape say to the green grape? "Breathe, you idiot, breathe!"
Get it?
Why was the duck fired from the train station?
He was a bad conducktor!
A Spanish magician is trying the disappearing trick. He counts "Uno, dos..." and leaves no trace.
I don't know, my friend did it.
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid sitting on his lap?
"Just beat it."
I tried my best using phone sex online, but the thing about it is the holes cannot fit through.
What is an orphan's favorite website? Zillow.
Spell IHOP, then say "ness."
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because there is nobody to call "daddy."
There are 365 days in a year. Orphans have 363 because they don’t have a Mother’s or Father’s Day.
What is a monkey's favorite game? A Hangman!
Yo mama's so fat, I run around her for exercise.
Why don't orphans have phones?
Because they have no home buttons.
A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
A suicide squad.
What's the definition of a bastard?
Answer: A man with a 1 inch dick and a 10 inch tongue and all he wants to do is fuck!