Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Player 138 eliminated...
What is missing when an orphan buys a laptop?
The home screen.
Husband: I look fat, can someone compliment me?
Wife: You have good eyesight.
If you punch an orphan, they can't do anything; they can't tell their parents.
When you find out your great grandpa killed Hitler.
That forehead is so tall it can eat a plane! Open wide!
My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."
I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.
Why did the autistic kid walk across a busy road?
He was chasing his mind and got hit by a car.
Why did Sally stare out the window for 24 hours straight?
Sally's used to being blind!
An LDS preacher knocks on the door with a chalice of wine offering to do the sacrament.
The person living there points and says, "Begone, foul blood-drinker!"
And promptly the preacher bursts into flames, leaving nothing but ash.
I wasn’t close to my dad when he died. It’s a good thing he stepped on a land mine.
Depressed should be spelled "depraseed" because then they would be 1, 2, 5, 9.
Why can't we see or sense kamikazes' bombs?
They're out of plane sight.
What is the perfect job for a pedophile?
A physical doctor for kids.
Couldn't believe how much of a bad mood my work mate was in this morning. So I decided to ask him what was the matter and if everything was OK with his wife, Flo.
He then broke down crying and said when he got home the night before, he caught his wife in bed with the plumber. I tried to console him as best as I could, but he just couldn't get over flow.
We can nip March Madness in the bud, but only if we detect the warning signs of brooding, anti-social February Fever.
Why can't orphans sign up for sports?
They have to have a parent's signature.
Why are nuts on boys?
Yo mama is SO FAT... SO FUCKING FAT... That when she went on the bus, she wasn't allowed in. She asked why, and the driver pointed to the sign "Weight capacity of 50 people". The bus was empty.
She got mad and ate the bus!