Worst Jokes Ever
Me: Yo wanna play 9/11?
My Friend: What’s that?
Me: It’s a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
Did you hear about the fish and chips? The fish got battered, the chips got salted.
What happens when you hear about Mary Brittain beating a Thomas?
You cook spaghetti with his blood!
Why do orphans like to play GTA?
To be wanted.
What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K? "HDMI."
Yo momma's so short that she fell off the toilet and broke her leg.
Bf: Babe, do you love me?
Gf: Of course, why do you ask?
Bf: I heard that your mom passed away, and I went to pick some roses for you to try to cheer you up, and then I remembered why I went to the garden.
Why were the apple and orange all alone? Because the banana "split."
What did one bee say to the other bee?
"I love you, honey!"
What's the most confusing day of the year for an illegitimate kid?
Father's Day.
I see 6 letters in "the past."
I have 2020 vision.
I see 7 letters in "the future," I have 2021 vision.
Why does new pavement smell like butt?
In other words you can also call it asphalt.
Ass-phalt.
What did the frog order?
A diet Croak!
What do you call a nervous zucchini?
An edgy veggie.
Do you want to hear a building joke?
I am still working on it.
Using Pi, distract that fat kid next to you and copy his answers.
My doctor said I could have up to 20 units a week. But now I've eaten half of my kitchen.
In other news, we are hearing of a nasty helicopter crash on the M4. Let's cross live to our eye-in-the-sky, Mark. Mark?
In 2006 on 6/9, there was something called communication opportunity happened. On 6/9. 69. Coincidence? I think NOT.
Well, we started off by ripping up ALL of the decking.
Abandon ship!