Worst Jokes Ever
Dad: Hey, uh... you're adopted.
Dog: *frown*
The only doctor you have is Doctor Pepper.
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
Why can't Chinese people have white babies? Because two wrongs don't make a white.
What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?
5% of atheists have seen a ghost.
5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.
Yo mama so fat, when she jumped, I didn’t laugh, but the floor cracked up.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and the devil?
The devil always has horns... not just around children.
I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and called him "hot wheels."
What did the farmer say to the doll?
You death baby doll.
"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."
Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
I would make a joke about fat people, but they already have enough on their plate.
I used to hate foot fungus, but now it's growing on me.
What's common between the penis and a Rubik's cube?
Both get hard when we play with them.
Teddy’s got a man in his Fanny.
I looked so deep in the dark web, I started to see Tyrone.
What do you call a shadow?
Tyrone, don’t be a coon!
God needed an extra two hands to make your fat ass of a mother.
I was reading a great book about an immortal dog the other day.
It was impossible to put down.
"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he replies.
I threw a paper airplane at the twin sisters. The teacher was upset. I guess they don't read the news.