Worst Jokes Ever
What's sticky and brown? A stick!
Why did the M&M go to school? He wanted to be a Smartie.
A family put their kid and their dog in an orphanage but came back for only the dog.
Why do shows have a family? Because they are "Pair-rents"!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
What does an orphan call a family photo?
A selfie.
Why was the orphan so successful?
When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away.
Orphan: But why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
I'm making a website for orphans. [I] won't add the home page.
What film do orphans hate?
"Instant Family."
Why can't orphans use a phone?
Because they can't find the home button.
Q: What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A: A family picture.
What’s black and long?
The Chick-fil-A line.
What's the difference between a glass of chocolate milk and a toddler?
The thing is, I wasn't arrested for throwing a glass of chocolate milk against the wall.
Some kid in a wheelchair called me fat.
I told her, "Do a wheelie!"
Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.
Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can’t find home.
Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."
If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.
My mates threw nuts at the wall, now we call them walnuts.
Hahaha :)