Worst Jokes Ever
So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!'
I thought, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
My wife said if I don't get off the computer, she's gonna slam my head into the keyboard, but I think I'll ajlkfsdhnvkwr;anhf.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in seconds.
Little Johnny went to school and right before class started, he pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his teacher told him to put on his pants and go to the office. The principal asked him what he did, so he pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Then the principal called his mom. The mom got there and took little Johnny home.
They got in the car, and his mother asked, "Johnny, what did you do this time?" So Johnny pulled his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Once they got home, his dad was off work and heard that Johnny was coming home early from school. Once again he asked Johnny what he did. Johnny pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his dad was surprised, so his dad pulled down his pants and said, "Big whale, big whale."
How does NASA organise a party?
They ‘PLANET’.
Gays: I like men.
Straights: I like women.
Russia: Hole is hole.
A depressed kid tried to give a tree a high-five, but the tree left him hanging.
What do you call a depressed person holding a knife?
Freedom yay! (so funny ikr)
I would tell a scoliosis joke.
But that would be completely out of line.
What do children and lights have in common? They both hang from ceilings!
Not funny, here’s another.
Why can’t China play baseball? They ate the bat.
Why did Queen Elizabeth the II die?
Because she ran out of immortali-tea.
Why did the old man fall into the well? He couldn't see that well.
Are your hands feeling heavy? Because I can hold them for you.
What do girls and noodles have in common?
They both wiggle when you eat them.
Why are cows such great dancers?
They have all the best moooves!
What do you call it when Hitler abuses his wife?
Adolf Hit Her.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Stop.
Stop who?
Stop posting stupid orphan jokes that have been posted on this site 10 times before!
Ya know, Kobe made a real impact on the earth!
Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because they ordered pepperoni but instead they got... Plane.