Worst Jokes Ever
What did one twin tower say to the other? "Be back, I gotta catch a plane."
Just got an iPhone 12 for my brother, best trade I've ever made.
Have you seen the new movie Constipation?
You haven't?
That's because it hasn't come out yet.
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.
One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."
The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"
The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."
So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.
"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."
The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"
The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
I only got one question wrong on my biology test yesterday.
The question was, "What is most commonly found in a cell?"
Apparently, "Black People" wasn't the right answer.
A guy starts chatting to a pretty woman at a party.
Seeing that she didn't back off, he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied. "That's a nice name," he said, warming up the conversation. "Who named you, your mother?"
"No, I named myself," she answered.
"Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?"
"Because I like cars, and I like men," she said, looking directly into his eyes. "So what's your name?" she asked.
‘BJ Titsngolf’
I can’t watch anime anymore when my friend’s grandpa is in the house.
He hasn’t heard a Japanese person scream since the war.
Where do feminists go when they die? "Hell's Kitchen."
What's the difference between kids and drugs? I don't sell drugs.
If you're ever angry, go ahead and punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What’s the difference between Hitler and Steven Hawking?
Nothing, they're both dead, one painted the walls and the other committed suicide by pressing ALT + F4.
What is the difference between an iPhone and an orphan?
An iPhone has a button to go home.
I asked the little German girl to rate our sex between 1-10. She kept crying and shouting "9!"
That's the best I've done so far.
The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet. The student recited the alphabet: "abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz". "Where's the p?" He looked down to the floor and said: "it's running down my legs".
Teachers at a school shooting be like: damn it. That's the third one this week and it's only Monday.
I identify as Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are he he.
Why does an orphan go to church? So they can call someone father and be loved.
What runs around a yard without actually moving? A fence.
I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don’t understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what’s so sad?" and she said, "What do you think was running through these kid’s head before they died?" I replied, "probably a bullet." She gasped and said, "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent’s heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."
Rape is a touchy subject.