Worst Jokes Ever
How are Xbox servers like hookers? First they take my money, and then they go down on me.
Who was purple and wanted to rule the world?
Alexander the Grape.
Dad: School is canceled, I think your teacher died or something.
Me: Wow, they found the body already?
Dad: :/
I saw a kid on the side of the road covered in rags and asked if he was an orphan. He said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
What do you think would fall to the ground first, an emo kid or a leaf?
The leaf. The rope would stop the emo kid.
OTHERS (MOTIVATED): If I had FLYING as a SUPERPOWER, FALLING would be the BEGINNING STAGE.
ME (DEPRESSED): OK, GOOD IDEA! LETS FALL OFF THE CLIFF AND FLY TO HEAVEN!!
When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say, “This boy always had a fat ass.”
What is Donald Trump's favorite game?
Fortnite. Because he can build walls for free.
Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times, and she won’t believe you.
Tell a woman she’s fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life.
What makes an ISIS joke funny?
The execution.
I finally know why my brain doesn't work!
On the left side, there's nothing right, and on the right side, there's nothing left.
I asked my North Korean friend how it is to live there.
He said he couldn't complain.
What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? Timing.
The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
Are you a raisin? Because you’re raisin' my dick.
Do you have a shovel? Because I'm digging that ass.
Are you an archaeologist? Because I’ve got a bone for you to examine.
An old man goes to a church and is making a confession:
Man: "Father, I am 75 years old. I have been married for 50 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I was intimate with an 18-year-old."
Father: "When was the last time you made a confession?"
Man: "I never have, I am Jewish."
Father: "Then why are telling me all this?"
Man: "I’m telling everybody!"
What is the difference between Batman and a black man?
Batman can go out at night without Robin.
My girlfriend called me pedophile today.
Big word for a 12-year-old.