Roses are red,
Violets are blue, there's always someone who's better than you.
Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call an emo kid with light up shoes?
A human chandelier.
Mom, how were hoomans made? Son, it’s because Adam and Eve were brought down by God and made babies!
Dad, how were hoomans made? Son, us humans evolved from monkeys!
Mom, Dad said hoomans were evolved from monkeys, is that true? Oh son, (ruffles smol man’s hair) your dad was telling you his side of the family, and I was telling my side :)
Why is the Z the only politically correct letter?
Because all the other letters are not Z's.
What do women and pools have in common?
They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the amount of time you’re inside of them.
What is a orphan's favorite 🎥🍿?
Home Alone.
My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it. I'm not too worried though, I think she is just joking.
A guy threatened to touch me yesterday...
The reason why Trailer Park Boys is set in Nova Scotia and not Alabama is because if it was set in Alabama, then they would have to record every instance of incest. And the show's writers would need to know how to cram all of it in one season.
Why don’t you act like your hairline and kindly take several steps back?
Why did the Xbox player cross the road? To render in the buildings.
You look like the 0.01 percent of bacteria the Lysol didn't kill.
What does my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
Kobe jokes just don’t land well anymore.
What did the grim reaper say when his favorite car commercial came on? "Safe life repair, safe life replace!"
I got kicked out of the library for putting a book about women's rights in the fantasy section.
This is the real reason why the chicken crossed the road.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To visit his grandmother at KFC.
You use your legs as support, you count on your fingers.
Why do strippers never care about things?
Because the last time they gave a fuck, it was for $20 an hour.
I told the last person I slept with I was pregnant. He freaked the fuck out but calmed down after he realized it was April Fools'.
The look on my cousin's face was hilarious.
