Worst Jokes Ever
The doctor said I had two years to live, so I shot him. The warden gave me 50. Problem solved!
Why are bears' hair so sticky?
Because they use honeycombs.
What do you call it when you see nothing but pants? Brief psychotic disorder!
A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair.
The man who controls the chair asks for any last words.
The prisoner replies with: “Can you hold my hand?”
A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."
Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."
Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."
If you’re American when you go in the bathroom...
... and American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
Puss.
What should I sell my dragon for?
Dragon these balls across yo face!
Your hairline is so discombobulated, it looks like a geometrical shape.
Your hairline is so hideous that Derrick White's hairline envies yours.
Your mama so fat, the scale said, "Only one person at a time, please!"
Why did your daddy not come back with the milk?
Because you have no dad because your dad never loved you.
What is a necrophile's least favorite game?
The Walking Dead.
A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.
“Come again!” says the woman behind the desk.
“No, it’s curry this time.”
I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed I only have a crockpot. 🤣
Your friend is so fat, when he took the group pic, he was the background.
Me: What's the fifth month of the year?
Friend: May.
Me: May deez nuts fit in your mouth?
Me: How do cowboys say hello?
Friend: Howdy.
Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?
I got evicted from the hospital today for telling all the patients to stay positive!
What a negative effect!
How many terrorists does it take to tile a roof?
It depends on how thin you slice them.