My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight.
I told her to keep her chins up.
Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between red wings and old cassette tape players?
One eats tape while the other eats pussy.
People: The Titanic is unsinkable!
Iceberg: Challenge accepted.
What's the difference between friends and family?
One is actually real.
I’d make a Kobe joke, it just wouldn’t land right.
I will never forget my grandpa's last words:
"What the fuck is in this drink?"
What do you call a Pegasus that is being sus?
A megasus!
What's common between the penis and a Rubik's cube?
Both get hard when we play with them.
What did one twin say to the other?
"Watch out for the plane!"
What do you call a black person having a fit?
A chocolate milkshake.
God needed an extra two hands to make your fat ass of a mother.
I was reading a great book about an immortal dog the other day.
It was impossible to put down.
I threw a paper airplane at the twin sisters. The teacher was upset. I guess they don't read the news.
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.
I used to hate foot fungus, but now it's growing on me.
I was asked to design a website for an orphanage, so I decided to design it without the home page.
Teddy’s got a man in his Fanny.
I looked so deep in the dark web, I started to see Tyrone.
What do u call a Muslim praying: Allahu akbar.
"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he replies.