Your mum is so overdue on eBay for £2 so she could get a male stripper.
Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
You only need 1 nail to hang a painting!
Someone asked me to go to hell, so I drove to my local middle school.
Buy KFC = 1 dead orphan in your house.
What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
"Hey, today was great!"
"What happened?"
"I ran into my ex today."
"What's so great about that?"
"I was in my car!"
The twin towers were the best soldiers ever. Stand together, fall together!
What kind of ball does Amy Rose like? Blue balls.
I might slide up to your block with intelligence. I'm a genius with a glock. There's some relevance. Took his chain, took his rocks. Took his sediments. There's no cap inside my speech. No impediments.
Putting numbers on the board, I use my calculator. Put a opp below the floor, he's a denominator. E = mc2, you didn't notice that? Had the shot, but he's too scared. Why didn't he buss it back?
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.
The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.
"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"
"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.
The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?
How to get rid of non-vaccinators: call water a "dehydration vaccine."
I asked my wife to embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug.
I made a deal with Satan. I would get a free pass to hell if I serve as a demon lord. So, see you guys at the end of times!
Me: Pretend your name is “puberty.”
Friend: Ok?
Me: I'mma hit puberty!
*hits my friend*
Yo mama so stupid,
she thought DUNKIN' DONUTS was a basketball team.
Yo mama so old,
her memory is black and white.
What was going through the head of a 9/11 victim on the 88th floor?
The 89th floor.
What do you call 6 gay men in WW2?
Rainbow Six Siege.
I played Clash of Clans, and when I requested troops, all I got were some Muslim wall breakers.
Me rn: "Yo yo yo, for pre-K I went to K.I.S.S. a school."
My friend: "What is K.I.S.M.A.?"
Me: "K.I.S.M.A. balls!"