Worst Jokes Ever

Why does new pavement smell like butt?

In other words you can also call it asphalt.

Ass-phalt.

A chicken is delicious.

Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?

What can you catch but not throw?

A cold!

Why does a robot malfunction when they get sad?

Because they have a break down.

Why did the gym close down?

Because it just didn't work out.

What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.

What do you say to your pony when it's being wild?

Stop horsing around!

What did the bull say when got hit in the special area? "Damn my bulls!" Ahahaha

Have you ever walked into Jason Fraser’s house?

Neither has he.

Want to hear a joke about paper?

Never mind, it's tearable.

What did the frog order?

A diet Croak!

I used to have a phobia of pogo sticks. Those things always made me jump.

What do you call a nervous zucchini?

An edgy veggie.

Would you mind just peeing into this cup, please? It's the one the annoying receptionist uses.

Nope, should've gone to Specsavers.

Do you want to hear a building joke?

I am still working on it.

Using Pi, distract that fat kid next to you and copy his answers.

My doctor said I could have up to 20 units a week. But now I've eaten half of my kitchen.

In other news, we are hearing of a nasty helicopter crash on the M4. Let's cross live to our eye-in-the-sky, Mark. Mark?