Worst Jokes Ever
Your hairline recedes so far back that it defends your forehead.
If you think of a president as your king, then the USA got checkmated on November 22nd, 1963.
What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower?
Unemployed.
Helen Keller: *Gets knocked to the floor*
Helen Keller (in her head): "Wow, I didn't see that coming!"
Racism.
Chris Hemsworth is Australian, and Thor is from space. Does that make him an Australien?
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor!"
"Scoop pa tun manaa?"
My brothers kept annoying me.
I told them I would disembowel them if they kept it up.
It was an empty threat—right after I was done.
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: 9/11 victims. They went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
Knock knock, Who's there? Dad. You came back?
Leprechauns are stupid. No joke.
Are you a toaster?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the side that he was not on.
What’s a lesbian’s favorite sport? Dodge balls.
"Captain, captain, there's a man lashed to the mainmast."
"That's your lookout."
Katy Perry can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write music, is unbelievably ugly, and is unable to decipher maths or science. Really though, I didn't realize going down on a record executive would later lead her to be one of the people able to go to space.
The tortoise can't go out to play, Or sell his house or rent it. For when he moves, his house moves too, And nothing can prevent it.
Why do women have two sets of lips?
I kiss both.
What did the duck do when he crossed the road?
The duck jumped into a pool of ant piles! 💀💀
Why did the rapper bring a map to the studio?
To find his way to the BEAT!