Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?
A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.
What the can say to the tomato?
Tomato tomato potato potato find twelve recipe for the both 👍🏾
I put on ingredient sticker read for tasting good.
Asked my dad what LGBT stands for.
He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?" Obviously, I had to reply with "Garnish."
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
I was making a coffee for my boss and this was the supposed recipe:
1 egg 1 tomato diced bell peppers a bag of sugar sea salt coffee beans rusted nails.
I got fired and spent the next 20 years in prison with a dude named Papa Bear.
Here are 20 jokes for you:
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them!
How does a bee style its hair? With a honeycomb!
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs!
Why don't eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up!
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner is on me!
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they would be bagels!
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
How does a computer get drunk? It takes screenshots!
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer!
I hope these jokes brought a smile to your face! Let me know if you'd like to hear more.
Cereal is like... breakfast soup made out of corn flakes.
Ketchup is like... a smoothie because of the tomato.
Coffee is like... a bean drink energizer.
My life is like... the shoe rack-
What do you call a red potato?
A tomato. 🍅
(I know it's cringe!)
Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.
Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."
Why are tomatoes red? Because they contain the carotenoid lycopene!
XD RawR woof woof bark bark UwU meowwwww ROFL LMAO LOLOLOOLOLOL KEKW KEKW PEPELASUGH
What did a tree say to the tomato?
Nothing! Trees don't talk, silly.
How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a tomato?
The tomato gets picked.
Why did the tomato cross the road?
To ketchup with his friends on the other side.
Why are tomatoes green? Because they rot, like your mum.
McNeill's mom wrote a shopping list for supper:
cabbage _50
Carrots-50
Cooking fat -100
Onions_20
Tomato-20
salt-10
Total=250
She gave McNeill the list to get the ingredients.
McNeill took long to return home from the shopping.
His mom decided to call McNeill to ask why are taking long. McNeill answered, "I have all the ingredients, but I'm looking for total."
Today I went to get a sub, and they asked me if I wanted all vegetables. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.
(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)
Baby: Wait for me!
(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)
(He squishes the child.)
Father: Ketchup!
With did the tomato say to the other tomato
What did the tomato say to the sad pickle?
"What's the big dill?"
