Toilet jokes
A man goes for a pee in a haunted house.
He unzips his pants at the urinal when a man dressed as a goblin chuckles next to him. "You got a small dick, buddy," the man says to him.
Why did the toilet paper not make it across the street?
'Cause it got stuck in a pothole!
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the toilet? Because the “p” is silent.
I poo 11 times a day.
What did Spock encounter in the Enterprise toilet?
The Captain's Log.
Why did the poop cross the street? Because it was trying to get in the toilet.
What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!
Why are orphans always on the toilet?
Because they don't have anyone to give them some toilet paper!
In the year 2020, who were the biggest enemies?
Coronavirus and toilet paper.
My friend is gonna release an air strike. There has to be at least 20 confirmed toilet kills.
The QUEEN took a shit at the poker table. It was a ROYAL FLUSH.
Why can't orphans go on vacation?
The last time they did, they fell in the toilet and had no one to help them out. Ugh!
I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he's still making fun of me.
14 girls asked me to go out today!
I was in the ladies' toilets...
You're so ugly you scared the crap out of the toilet!
Would you rather:
Fight Mike Tyson
Or
Lick an elephant's butt after it took a crap with diarrhea?
What do you call a Spanish toilet?
Elton John.
An orphan uses a family bathroom, and when he comes out, he gets told, "This is a family bathroom."
When it comes to recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.