Sanitation jokes

I got in touch with my inner self today, it's the last time I use 1-ply toilet roll.

If you drink hand sanitizer, does it only kill 99.9% of you?...........💀

If certain diseases spread in water, why does Africa have them?

A man walks into a restaurant. The waitress hands him a menu and it says: "Hot dog: $2, Hamburger: $5, Blowjob: $10."

He asks the waitress, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"

She says, "Yes, I am."

He tells her, "Good. Can you go wash your goddamn hands? Because I want a hot dog."

The companies that made the hand gel sanitizer must be absolutely rubbing their hands together!

How is toilet paper recycled?

Easier than you would think, but first they have to process the crap out of it.

When recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.

Conversely, you can recycle a condom quite easily: just turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it.

Yo mama is so poor, she makes her own hand sanitizer.

Bleach solves so many problems: stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation.

I hate these double standards.

If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job". If you do it at home you're "destroying evidence".

Children should never run with scissors, and lesbians should never scissor with the runs.

If you leave your small children inside a shower with Kelly Clarkson, you're a filthy parent.

Condoms? HA! Those are for pussies!