Time Jokes

Linda

My uncle and I have some what of an awkward relationship. At times I find him a bit hard to swallow.

Linda

My family is lucky I was born so smart, every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.

I could be your Dad
in Train

Your mother is responsible for all the train drivers that are never ever late. She tort them all to pull out on time.

Anonymous
in Orphan

Why do orphans commit crimes?

It’s the only time they’re ever wanted

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Big tings
in Michael Jackson

How you know it’s her time in mjs house ? When the big hand touches the little hand

Anus McDickNuggets

What do you call a Muslim with Tourette’s? A ticcing time bomb.

Anonymous
in Calculator

Sally had (69) boobs witch was (2,2,2) many (69222)so she went to the doctor on (51)st street ( 6922251) whom gave her pills she took (x8) times a day and now she is boobless

Anonymous

Ive been sad recently the twin towers arnt round so i made the conclusion of a time machine to watch it again

Anonymous
in Michael Jackson

What time is bed time at Michael Jackson’s house? When the big hand touches the little hand

Very SUS
in Emo

What do you call two emos spending time together? Hanging out.

Katie Jean Neville

Call this for a gay old time xxx 0275535101

Godzilla

My mom bought me a car and she called me an ungrateful b**ch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time

Nice Garry

What does the Gay Garlic do when it gets hot? It takes it’s CLOVES off 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Like if you LOL every time 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Pigeon
in Little Johnny

The teacher was asking some of her students the meanings to words. “Sally, can you tell me what beautiful means?” Sally: “You…” Teacher: “Aww! How nice! But next time say the actual definition. Now, can someone tell me what malicious means?” Andrew: “A dangerous person and/or virus.” Teacher: “Great job Andrew! Now, what does fat mean? Johnny?” Johnny: “A pig.” Teacher: “Could you tell me the actual defini-” Johnny: “In other words, the person who last spoke to me.”

Anonymous
in Fat

Your mama so fat it said to be continued then it loaded at said one person at a time

Anonymous
in Michael Jackson

why dose Michael Jackson have such a hard time playing chess? he cant choose between black or white.