What is the shortest month of the year?
May, it only has 3 letters!
Time Jokes
Patient: Oh, doctor, I’m just so nervous. This is my first operation.
Doctor: Don’t worry. Mine too.
Crying babies are like parties. No matter how many times you try to end it, it keeps going.
How are women like swimming pools?
They cost a great deal of money to maintain considering the time you spend inside.
My son wore his new "Go Vegan" Hoodie for the first time today, and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked, & spat on!!!!
And he's not even left the house yet!!!
I added Paul Walker on Xbox...
But he spends all his time on the dashboard.
How do 4 gay guys fit on one stool at the same time?
They flip it over.
You have 10 to live.
“Wait, as in 10 minutes?”
10, 9, 8...
Why don’t old people have sex?
When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old?
I went to jail because I gave the orphan kid a calendar with 363 days.
(I deleted Mother's Day and Father's Day.)
LEGO Ninjago - I like it, okay?
Which of the ninja would be best for an undercover mission as the person in disguise?
Kai. He just has to leave his hair down and no one would know it was him. He uses hair gel, as Cole has said a couple times I think, because his hair looks like fire 🔥!
Why do women always have sex with the lights off?
Because they never like to see a man having a good time.
"When is the best time to commit suicide?"
Ate a Glock in the morning.
One time I was at home alone with my dawgy, and I was eating peanut butter. I thought since it's oily, I could use it as a lotion, so I spread it all over my private part. My dawgy came over and started licking the peanut butter off my private part, and my private part got big and hard. Then, white stuff came out of my wee wee, and my dawgy started looking up at me and whining.
And then my daddy came home and saw what I was doing and shouted, "What are you doing?" And I said I was using peanut butter on my private part. Then he said, "Well, let me have a taste." And then he started doing what my dawgy was doing.
Yo mama is so old that her first Christmas was the first Christmas!
I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"
He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."
Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.
In the heart of a circular, creamy delight, there exists a void, a singular absence that adds to its charm. This hollow space, a perfect round, is a testament to the artistry of nature and man's culinary skills.
The hole, a silent observer, bears witness to the transformation of the substance around it, from a liquid state to a firm, yet supple form. It's a silent testament to the passage of time, a symbol of patience and the magic of fermentation.
The void, despite its emptiness, contributes to the overall aesthetic, making the slice a visual treat. It's a playful peek-a-boo with the world beyond, a window that adds mystery and intrigue.
In the end, the hole is not just a void, but a character in the story of this culinary masterpiece, a silent protagonist that adds depth and character to the narrative. It's a testament to the beauty of imperfection, a celebration of the unique and the unconventional.
May.
Why do hackers in Africa have hard times dealing with firewalls?
They don't have water.
I found the best GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-get-the-time-machine.