Time jokes
Why do dads take time to get?
Milk?
Bring out your weapons, people.
It's bullying time.
Your mother is responsible for all the train drivers that are never ever late. She taught them all to pull out on time.
If your baby can unhook your bra, is it time to stop breastfeeding?
I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.
Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.
What’s 23 times 2?
A potato.
What is a paedo's favourite time of year?
Halloween because they get free delivery.
Someone said to me when it was winter it[’]s time for you to “chill out.” I was like 👁👄👁
Bianca: Mr. Doeken, even though I completed my test, you still said it was "late." Why is that?
Mr. Dowon: Bianca, for the LAST TIME, MY LAST NAME IS DOWON!
Bianca (🤨): Are you sure?
Mr. Dowon (😒): What do you need, Bianca?
Bianca: It's Bianca!
Mr. Dowon: Are you sure?
What did the blonde say when someone says, "Your baby is so cute?"
"For the last time, I don't want to sign up my child for Tindergarten just yet!"
Hope everyone is having a good day! ❤️
Yo mama so fat, when she walked in the room, we missed three seasons of our show!
Why did the kid throw the clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly.
If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette, he will be warm for a short time.
But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash, so now he's warm for the rest of his life.
What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?
They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.
What kind of shit does a ghost take every time? A spooky dookie!
I can't believe what just happened. I was at the bowling alley having a great time with my girlfriend when suddenly a man took all of our bowling pins! I asked him why and he said he needed more tapins to keep his career relevant. I instantly realized it was Penaldo!
I don't trust anything that bleeds for more than 5 days and is still alive.
Why does an orphan only have 363 days in a year? Because they don’t have mothers' and Father’s Day.
One time Uma Thurman was Poison Ivy; she was weird in that, except for her punny jokes.