Time Jokes

Bf: Do you love me?

Gf: Most of time.

Bf: Well it's either yes or no.

Gf: ...

Bf: Well when is it that you don't love me?

Gf: 2:30 to 4:00. Every time when you to the river an hour than it takes me a half hour to love you again.

Bf: Why?

Gf: Cuz you always see that OTHER GIRL.

Bf: MY LOVE! That other girl is my sister!!!

Gf: Ohh...

three people having sex is a threesome two people is a twosome so next time someone calls you handsome don't take it as a compliment

Father : "That's great son. Who is she?"

Son: "It's Tina, the neighbor's daughter".

Father : "Ohhh I wish you hadn't said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.Tina is actually your sister."

The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later

Son : "Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!"

Father : "That's great son. Who is she?"

Son: "It's Peny, the other neighbor's daughter."

Father : "Ohhhh I wish you hadn't said that. Peny is also your sister."

This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,he went straight to his mother crying.

Son : "Mum I am so mad at dad ! I fell in love with six girls but I can't date any of them because daddy is their father!"

The mother hugs him affectionately and says:

"My love, you can date whoever you want. Don't listen to him. He is not your Father."!!!

What hype is this place out is for the night you can not say what is a great 👍 I have for a good night

my grandmother said goodnight...

she never said good morning

What time is it when a cow sits on your fence? Time to get a new fence!

A calendar asked the doctor how many time he's got left. The doctor replyed: Till december

What is a good time for dinner and what do I do for you and dinner dinner and what yyyuyy dinner 🍴 night time

What time is it when you smell garbage 🗑? Time to run 🏃

Stupid joke about Stephen Hawking that wasn't funny the first fucking time

what is more time consuming than children? waiting for your'e wife to go into labor!

Yo mom so far that when she walk outside at 8am, it became Mid Night all over again.

What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an Aussie bloke in Bali?

Both are expert drunks, but the Aussie is 100 times better kept. Johnny Depp, in contrast, looks like a demented leader of a violent drug cartel.

a man died and went to heaven. here he met jesus. there were two clocks, the man asked whats with the clocks?. jesus answered this is mother theresa's clock she has not lied so the clock hasnt moved, this is abraham lincoln's clock; he's only lied twice so its moved twice. where's donald trumps the man asked. jesus replied: its in my office im using it as a ceiling fan.

A kid annoyed me the other day. I told him to shut up and go back to his parents. That's the last time I'm going to an orphanage.

I think my coworkers are gay. -- Every time I walk by, they mumble, "What an ass."

Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. Suddenly a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “ Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!”. He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out. The man wen back to the other man and said, “ There is no hope, you will die.”