Time Jokes

Israel and Palestine jokes are hard at these times It’s all about execution

Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?" Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"

Scoucer at ground zero just after the twin towers fell asks a passer by what time is it mate? American replys thats a mad accent were are you from ? Scoucer says liverpool american oh what state is that in? Scoucer looks around and says about the same state as this mate but what time is it?

I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and i asked him "why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics and building supplies in your basement?"

He responded with "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time i perform people tell me I need new material."

I did a good walk and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and people live in the house with my dog I had to a dog and

How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? It only takes one but it takes a long time and the light bulb has to want to change.

Hi 👋 I love 💕 you know I do what a good night of a good time and time to go oooo

My Wife: how much do you live me?? Me:count all the stars.My Wife: aww infinity. Me:No a waste of time.

10 years ago my dad said i should eat cereal with water until he comes back with the milk... i still eat cereal with water sadly

What does Santa say for the toys to go to bed? Time to hit the sack!!!!

How do you start a Mexican bedtime story? - Juans upon a time

guy: Are you a vending machine? because your a snack. girl: Your card got declined. guy: Thats ok you got to bang them a few times to get you moneys worth.

Hey, 2nd Amendmenters! Wanna know what gun Jesus used during his time?

What?

A nail gun!

Time waits for no man, time is obviously a woman.

Dad: What time do u wanna go to the dentist? Daughter: *tooth hurty* Dad: all right

What time is it when you get a chance to take a car 🚗 and drive all over? Time to get in trouble

if anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.

What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.

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