Time jokes

I want a bigger couch.

Why? You're going to be in the kitchen most of the time anyway.

I love Fortnite because I touched grass for the first time and also I love Chung Lei.

Yo mama is so old that she was born on the first day the universe existed.

Why did the rapper sit on the clock?

He wanted to keep it real with TIME.

I used to think 11/11 was mistakenly 9/11.

minutes (DYM 124)

Why are there only 362 days in an orphan's calendar? They don’t have Father's Day, Mother's Day, or Family Day.

Once upon a time, the end was what? When? How? End meow.

When your wife takes 30 minutes to get ready.

Me: Takes five minutes.

Me: Hun, you done yet?

Alright ALYA and drew ALYA's boyfriend!! Have a good fucking life, I hardly even think drew is real but uk whatever I've passed on but DREW if u fucking wanna beef, I'll fight u bro, ur prob a stick, I'm fucking doing push ups 4 times a week 100 each.

I swear every time I walk past a guy, they stare at my ass. I always keep wondering why it hurts so much.

Why did Lucas die?

'Cause he was old, Lucas.

Every time I come straight home from work, you're in the bed asleep and back there dead like a vampire in a casket.

Then the next thing I noticed, you just came back from the dead in no time, dummy.

What time do Chinese people go to the dentist?

Tooth hurty (2:30).

Whoever took my dildo,

I hope you're having a good time.

What is a good night's sleep? I love it when you walk home and walk walk home from school. Was your time I had dinner night night? Dinner night, is it fun for me? I o I had dinner.

Q: What's the first day of the week in outer space?

A: Moonday!

Times have been so tough lately, I have had to jerk off the dog just to feed the cat.

Say hi to outer space. Hi, now say how are you doing to the moon. Hi, how are you doing? Why are you wasting your time? XD lol

How to learn your Vitamins:

A = Art.

B = Bouncy Balls.

C = Cookies.

D = Da Sun.

You'll be smarter than a doctor next time you visit!