If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d still only have five cents.
Time Jokes
Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
"Back To The Future"-Doc: You can time travel to anytime in HISTORY, Marty, but NEVER go to the year 2021.....
My sister is really disrespectful, and her famous words are, "You're not my parent!" The next time she says this, I'm going to respond back with, "You're right, because I would have worn a condom to protect from you being born unlike my dad did!"
My dad owns a countertop store and sometimes he'll barter.
A lot of the time he will take things for granite.
A lot of counter-offers were made.
Can February march?
No, but April may.
I woke up today, and my mom said it was 1940.
You're so ugly that every time you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."
Mommy is a YouTuber, she can never spend time with me.
Yo mama so fat the last time I saw 90210 was when she stepped on the scale.
Lucky for me I'm only 210.
"Nepal is a good place because it has been a great time for me."
What are they going to say about Tim Gunn in 20 years?
He kicked the bucket.
I don't have time to write this joke.
Friend: What goes up but not down?
You: Your age.
Pigeons can be annoying at times, especially when their bones get stuck in-between your teeth.
The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.
Leo must be a parking ticket... not because of the “fine” thing, nah, it’s because she’s OVERSTAYED her WELCOME.
My son wore his new "Go Vegan" Hoodie for the first time today, and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked, & spat on!!!!
And he's not even left the house yet!!!
Opal didn't hack RapBoat's account, she WAS RapBoat the whole time.
What do you call a rapper who's ALWAYS on time?
Punctual P
