Time jokes
What season is it when you're on a trampoline?
Spring time!
Time is like a machine, it slows down when beaten.
Someone booted Stephen Hawking offline. Maybe next time he will stand for the pledge/anthem.
What do you get if you cross Damian Lillard and a watch?
This will take a ton of time.
A skele-ton.
Hey, guess what I got for my birthday.
No, what did you get? Older.
Spy: Hahaha.
Me: What?
Spy: Time to pick up your mother.
Me: Oh no....
What's the difference between 20 and 14?
9 to 10 years.
Kid: Hey, Dad.
Dad: You're an hour late.
Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.
Dad: By yourself?
Kid: No.
Dad: A boy?
Kid: I was with the teacher.
How do you turn your dog into a watchdog?
Get it a Rolex!
Man, everybody's birthday is this year! 🤦🏽♂️
Say "joke" 5 times.
Oh, nothing happened.
What time should you go to bed when it's bedtime?
I don't have time to write this joke.
When people ask my age, this is what I do.
“🥱 I DON’T CARE.... ÆAHAHAHAHAHAÆAAÆ!”
Your hairline so back that back in the day of your hairline, Burger King was called "Burger Prince."
Stalin asked Hitler if he wants to hear a joke.
Hitler says, “Yes.”
Stalin then says, “Moscow.” Hitler replies with “I don’t get it?”
Stalin laughs for a long time and says, “And you never will.”
I traveled through time to get my dad back.
I failed because I was 1e21 years off.
One time I broke a leg and I was using a wheelchair.
My parents thought I was a disappointment and put me up on eBay, the Ohioan Black Market, and the nearest adoption center.
One time I was playing a bongo at a Chinese restaurant.
But they were competing against a Cuban restaurant and killed me.