Yo mama so old, she walked into an antique store, and they didn't let her leave.
Time Jokes
Your hairline is so far back, it was in a different time zone on a flight with you.
Your earlobes are so big, you can fit your mom inside of them 5000 times and still have room for more!
When did I wake up?
At the quack of dawn!
What brakes but never falls, and what falls but never brakes?
Answer: Night falls and dawn brakes.
Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.
Wanna hear a joke about measurement... never mind, it would take too long.
This isn't a joke. My dad went to the shops for some bread 16 years ago. He still hasn't returned. Should I be worried yet? Or should I wait a year?
Glad to present you a wood clock.
https://olegon.ru/clock/
When do eggs hatch?
At the CRACK of dawn!
One day I had the munchies, so I ate a clock. It was very... time consuming.
The cop that is on a 12 o'clock shift says, "Hands up!"
What did a tree do for a human rights day at a tree?
I had no time today after a night with you today, but you walk away.
Good day today, love you. Walk in love day and a walk home night. Night, night. I did not get snow. I love it is the day that we get a tree. I have to go get some sleep. Was good day at school today, but I’m going to be...
Good day tomorrow, and what day are they still good today? Good time. Love day! A great night time and...
What has 4 legs, then 3 legs, then 2 legs, then 1 leg, then no legs?
A baby you cut one off each time.
Stolen dad jokes: "I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered."
Kat, what? I did. A cat jump over the road because he believes he came flying in the clouds. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah! So funniest kitten kitten kitten kidding is my last time of Do you Joooooooooooooooooooooookin?
It was an important knockout game for Al Nassr. I came to Riyad to see my idol Cristiano Ronaldo play. It was my dream for a long time. I took a cab to the stadium, but the driver dropped me off at a haunted house instead.
As soon as I entered the house, I saw a ghost, but the very next moment I realized it's my idolo Ronaldo. Thank you Ronaldo for meeting me!
Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf, and he worked at a morgue.
So one time, poor Dan got confused and started having sex with the rotting corpse.
He then came home and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.
