Think jokes

I think my butt looks flat, but my boyfriend seems to think the opposite. I told him to be deadass with me.

What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? “If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.”

I think they are New York Jets fans and the Jets QB helped them... That's why one of them was off target.

Daveon is so straight, he thinks a straight line is the shortest distance between two points and nothing else.

The best news about a pretty girl with special needs is that you can get her to do exactly what you want her to do.

I mean, she probably thinks receiving oral is like 100% blood sausage coming right at her.

I just had sex...

I think I nailed it!

(Shit joke, I know.)

Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.

Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.

Sometimes I feel ugly, but then I think of my sister.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Algorithm.

Algorithm who?

Think Algorithm to the store.

I learned that a strangler was targeting me.

All I could think was, "You’ve got to be choking me!"

Whenever you think back to 9/11 and realize there are 12 hours in front of us, why the f*ck didn't they warn us?

I think that church is super burning 🥵.

Yo mama so stupid, your mama thinks that VR is real life.

Once at school, a teacher thought I was Russian. Why do you think that? I said. The teacher replied, because you're reading from Right to Left.

Yo momma so queer that she thinks Paige Stawicki will be the first female in the NHL.

One would think Dracula would have a lot of friends. Unfortunately, no one likes him. He is a pain in the neck.

I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.

You say this to your friend, "Damn, your nuts are bigger than mine!" *thinks the wrong way*.

Friend: I must order more nuts.

So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."

"I miss you.

Being happy was never that hard without you..."

Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...