Think jokes

Jk: Jimin, why are you so small?

Jm: Excujjimi?

Jk: No offense, Jim.

Jm: Yah, call me hyung!

Jk: But I'm bigger.

Jm: I'm older!

Jk: I'm the top and you're the bottom, so I don't think it's right to call you hyung.

Jm:......

What did Pavol Demitra think before the Yaroslavl plane hit the ground?

"Oh shit, did I leave the stove on at home?"

I want to make another joke about Josef Vasicek, but I think if I make the NHL, I'll die in an airplane crash, so I won't risk it again.

You say this to your friend, "Damn, your nuts are bigger than mine!" *thinks the wrong way*.

Friend: I must order more nuts.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Algorithm.

Algorithm who?

Think Algorithm to the store.

Sometimes I feel ugly, but then I think of my sister.

Daveon is so straight, he thinks a straight line is the shortest distance between two points and nothing else.

One reason I like to tell riddles is because they help with critical thinking skills.

Alright, class, we have 39 students and 40 seats.

That one dyslexic kid thinking he’s Superman:

Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.

Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.

I just had sex...

I think I nailed it!

(Shit joke, I know.)

Yo momma so queer that she thinks Paige Stawicki will be the first female in the NHL.

Once at school, a teacher thought I was Russian. Why do you think that? I said. The teacher replied, because you're reading from Right to Left.

Yo mama so stupid, your mama thinks that VR is real life.

I learned that a strangler was targeting me.

All I could think was, "You’ve got to be choking me!"

Whenever you think back to 9/11 and realize there are 12 hours in front of us, why the f*ck didn't they warn us?

I think that church is super burning 🥵.

The best news about a pretty girl with special needs is that you can get her to do exactly what you want her to do.

I mean, she probably thinks receiving oral is like 100% blood sausage coming right at her.

I'm not into scatplay. In fact, I think that shit's disgusting.

I think my butt looks flat, but my boyfriend seems to think the opposite. I told him to be deadass with me.