Think jokes

Yo momma so queer that she thinks Paige Stawicki will be the first female in the NHL.

Yo mama so stupid, your mama thinks that VR is real life.

"I think my baby is so similar to me!"

"True, but the most important thing is that he is healthy!"

I think someone left trash at the doorstep. Oh, wait, it's your parents dropping you off at the kid's store.

What's the worst thing about 9/11?

All of the stupid "Airplane" jokes.

I think I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.

I think I was a little too harsh on Jason.

Anybody who was conceived in the back of a pickup truck during a family reunion is bound to have a few issues.

What do you think of the Bill Cosby movie?

Netflix and alcohol.

I think they are New York Jets fans and the Jets QB helped them... That's why one of them was off target.

When do we think the Empire State Building is going to be shot down?

When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'

When Leicester City won the league in 2015/16, do you think there was a little lad in Africa running around with "Drinkwater" on his back, annoying the hell out of the locals?

Like if you think Joel was a hero for saving Ellie instead of saving the world.

Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.

Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.

Alright, class, we have 39 students and 40 seats.

That one dyslexic kid thinking he’s Superman:

Once at school, a teacher thought I was Russian. Why do you think that? I said. The teacher replied, because you're reading from Right to Left.

Fat bully. That was just the starter, now do you want the main course?

Me: I don't think I want that because you already ate it.

I think my dad loves jokes.

Because he laughs when he looks at me.

If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?

The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.

Your hairline is so deep people can see what you're thinking.

Your hairline is so far back that if you wore yellow, people would think you were One Punch Man.