Think jokes
You'd think with Jason being a pastor's kid, his parents would have gotten him Invisalign.
And an exorcism.
One reason I like to tell riddles is because they help with critical thinking skills.
Do you ever look at someone and think, "You must have been conceived at a family reunion"?
You know how 6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9?
Well, how do you think 10 feels being in the middle of 9 11?
I always thought the idea of education was to learn to think for yourself.
Memes
The best news about a pretty girl with special needs is that you can get her to do exactly what you want her to do.
I mean, she probably thinks receiving oral is like 100% blood sausage coming right at her.
Daveon is so straight, he thinks a straight line is the shortest distance between two points and nothing else.
When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'
Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.
Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.
I think they are New York Jets fans and the Jets QB helped them... That's why one of them was off target.
I think DJT has FTD.
When do we think the Empire State Building is going to be shot down?
Like if you think Joel was a hero for saving Ellie instead of saving the world.
Yo momma so queer that she thinks Paige Stawicki will be the first female in the NHL.
Yo mama so stupid, your mama thinks that VR is real life.
Alright, class, we have 39 students and 40 seats.
That one dyslexic kid thinking he’s Superman:
I just had sex...
I think I nailed it!
(Shit joke, I know.)
Once at school, a teacher thought I was Russian. Why do you think that? I said. The teacher replied, because you're reading from Right to Left.
Whenever you think back to 9/11 and realize there are 12 hours in front of us, why the f*ck didn't they warn us?
I learned that a strangler was targeting me.
All I could think was, "You’ve got to be choking me!"