Think jokes

Yo mama so fat.

She is the reason why people think that the Earth is flat.

I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.

One would think Dracula would have a lot of friends. Unfortunately, no one likes him. He is a pain in the neck.

I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.

Ok, everyone on this website... I HAVE NO BROTHERS OR SISTERS. The person who claims he's my "brother" is firesharky. He is trying to get fame. Never listen to him. He will lie and trick you to think I have a brother, but I don't.

Okay, okay, why [are] people askin[g] where I went[?] I[']m always on this website. Never think I[']m not.

So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."

Jk: Jimin, why are you so small?

Jm: Excujjimi?

Jk: No offense, Jim.

Jm: Yah, call me hyung!

Jk: But I'm bigger.

Jm: I'm older!

Jk: I'm the top and you're the bottom, so I don't think it's right to call you hyung.

Jm:......

I want to make another joke about Josef Vasicek, but I think if I make the NHL, I'll die in an airplane crash, so I won't risk it again.

What did Josef Vasicek think before the plane hit the ground?

"Oh shit, is my name still on the Stanley Cup?"

You say this to your friend, "Damn, your nuts are bigger than mine!" *thinks the wrong way*.

Friend: I must order more nuts.

Call me fat? You call me fat because you think that you’re pretty, but you ain’t. You’re just a musty, dusty, rusty Cardi B.

"I miss you.

Being happy was never that hard without you..."

Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...

If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?

The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.

Fat bully. That was just the starter, now do you want the main course?

Me: I don't think I want that because you already ate it.

Your hairline is so deep people can see what you're thinking.

Roses are red, violets are blue, people think that you’re fat, until they saw your mom.

What did the janitor think when he was mopping the 101st floor?

The 102nd.

You know I would make a deaf joke, but I don't think they would hear it.

What does a skeleton tile his roof with?

Tiles.

WTF did you think he’d tile it with?