Think jokes

What do you think was going through the heads of the 9/11 victims on floor 43?

Floor 44.

Guy: You won't eat a human, so why do you eat meat?

Other Guy: It is bold of you to think I won't eat a human.

Your hairline is so far back that if you were a backbencher in class and I was a germ sitting on it, I would think that the rest of the backbenchers are seated in front of the class.

What comment did the United States Senator Kamla Harris make when one of her 64% blue dog democrat constituents called her incompetent?

"Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits!"

I think your hairline might have the hiccups.

Answer to it: You might have to give it a wash in the shower.

What's long and hard and has c*m in the middle? Cucumber. What were you thinking?

What's hard and hairy on the outside and soft and wet on the inside? Coconut, what were you thinking of?

I was about to joke about your life, but I think your life is already a joke.

An orphan thinks he finally sees his mom, but then he realizes it's air.

Q. What do you call a goose that thinks he's a goat?

A. A Billy Goose.

I think if the center of the earth froze, it would be pretty hard core.

Never drink tea in school... I give people tea if they've passed out... tea can be nice, but only have it once a day... It's not what you think... It's not tea, it's CPR.

What did the emo say to the popular kid?

"Go fuck yourself for thinking all emos cut because they don't... y'know, for a matter of fact, fuck all you guys..."

My girlfriend said to me, "Dear, I think you have hit an animal, there's blood and dents all over the bonnet."

I said, "No, love, I'm not waiting for a Black Lives Matter rally."

My brother thinks he's cool when he just SMELLS.

A man and a boy went into a forest. The boy said he was scared. The man said, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."

"Yol, what do you think about sex?"

"Good."

Did you hear about the shark that ate a key shop?

I think it got lockjaw after that.

Your balls are so big, when people see you at the market, they think it's watermelon.

Why was the noble gas not emo?

Because they were thinking RIGHT.