Think jokes

What did one droplet say to the other?

"Water you thinking?"

Do you think the ocean is salty because the beach never waves back?

What is it called when young sheep bet?

LAMbling.

(haven't uploaded yesterday cuz couldn't think of a joke)

I went to the table to eat my egg, but I couldn't find it anywhere.

I think someone must've poached it.

Did you hear about the shark that ate a key shop?

I think it got lockjaw after that.

My friend thinks he is funny.

He told me that the only food that makes you cry is an onion, so I threw a coconut at him.

Jimmy asks an elevator operator what he thinks of his job.

The operator shrugs and says, "It has its ups and downs!"

I tried my best to think of some puns, but I'm gonna have tibia honest: I don't have any puns left, but I'm pretty sternum, so I'll think of a few puns here and there. It took a lot of spine to do this.

Q. What do you call a goose that thinks he's a goat?

A. A Billy Goose.

I think if the center of the earth froze, it would be pretty hard core.

Never drink tea in school... I give people tea if they've passed out... tea can be nice, but only have it once a day... It's not what you think... It's not tea, it's CPR.

After 6 months of lockdown,

I was thinking a bit about Bin Laden. He stayed at home with 3 wives for 5 years. I'm beginning to suspect he called the Navy Seals himself.

"Rajesh get on bus, so many people, squeeze here squeeze there. He daydream about naughty stuff, like coffee spill but not coffee. Bus move, stop, he press close to pretty lady, she smell nice. Rajesh think how funny if something else spill, make whole bus ride wild." He laugh to self, bus ride never boring now!

There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."

John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"

Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"

John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."

"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."

Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?

I'm not into scatplay. In fact, I think that shit's disgusting.

I think my butt looks flat, but my boyfriend seems to think the opposite. I told him to be deadass with me.

What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? “If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.”

You'd think with Jason being a pastor's kid, his parents would have gotten him Invisalign.

And an exorcism.

It's often said that people peaked in high school.

I think Trump peaked in kindergarten.