Think Jokes

Sonic says... April 1st is the best day to do a school shooting. They will think it’s a joke! 😃

A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find Jesus instead, he'll help you!"

And then the man says, "It's pretty hard to 'get help' from something that doesn't exist."

When the school shooter gives the autistic kid a glock and he shoots himself, thinking it’s a cigarette.

What do cannibals think when they see a pregnant woman?

"Kinder Egg surprise."

If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.

A sign that reads: "www.bridgewatercurlingclub.com. You think you can hurt my feelings. I used to hold the fleshlight for my dad."

I think my penis has facial recognition.

So Jesus has been nailed to the cross.

On the first day, he starts to moan, "Peter, Peter!"

Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill.

On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, "Peter, Peter!"

Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes.

On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, "Peter, Peter!"

Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus and says, "Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important?"

Jesus- "Peter, I can see your house from here!"

Your forehead is so big, you think in 4K.

I had sex with twins. Well, I think it was twins. All my rage victims look alike.

If you think about it, then adoption is the last choice for getting a child, so those who are adopted were the last choice.

Your mama is so fat, when I think of her in my head, she just broke my neck.

I always think that percussions are golden, but cheeks are brass.

Guys, can we change pride month to another month, please? My birthday is in June, and I'm not gay, and my friends keep making fun of me. I think we should change it to March because my brother's birthday is in March, and that'd be funny.

How is toilet paper recycled?

Easier than you would think, but first they have to process the crap out of it.

You think you guys are funny, but look at your hairline. It be looking like the McDonald's symbol. 😂😂😂😂😭😭💀🤨🍆💦👶🏻😈😈😈😈😈😂😂😂😂😂😂👍😳😳😳😭😭😭😭😭😭🤨

I think your hairline is too stupid.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water.

WHERE DO THEY REALLY GO BECAUSE WATER CAN NOT BE AT THE TOP OF A HILL!?. I honestly think that only people with a physics degree can make nursery rhythms.