Think jokes

What song do you think was playing at the school?

"Pumped Up Kicks"

One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,

"What part of the dog did you get?"

When you know that everyone thinks you're a hoe.

WHEN Y'ALL ARE MY HOES!

I got caught doing donuts in the parking lot, and I know what y'all are thinking.

Who names their dog Donuts?

You know every time we think of sex, an angel dies.

We ran out of dead people hundreds of years ago.

A little riddle...

Trump has it short, Kennedy has it long, the Pope has it but he doesn't use it, what is it?

...

Obviously the Surname, what are you thinking about you pervert?

Yo mama is so ugly that when she went through a face ID, it didn't think she was human.

When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to just cheer up, god damn, why didn't I think of that?

You could think that some orphans are gay.

But think, would they be home-osexual? 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

Me: Bro, I don't think the Twin Towers will ever order pizza again.

Friend: Why?

Me: Because when they ordered pepperoni, all they got was plane.

I think people should date orphans, because their parents are never home.

lmao why do people think they can fly?

What's the difference between God and Ron DeSantis?

God does not think he is Ron DeSantis.

School Rizz:

You are my exam. I am always thinking about you but never making a move.

I used to think that I had a Japanese friend, but it was just my imagi-asian.

I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”

One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.

"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"

When Little Johnny was about 3, he got curious and stuck his hand up a mannequin's pants. His mom says, "No, Little Johnny, there are teeth up there that will bite off your hand." Little Johnny thinks, "Oh no, I can't do that again."

A few years later, he was 15 and he had a girlfriend, and they were making out. She says, "Why don't you ever stick your hand up my pants?" He says, "Oh no, my mom says there are teeth that will bite off my hand up there." She says, "No, there isn't, just look!" Little Johnny looks and says, "Well, no wonder there ain't no teeth. By the way, them gums look..."

You might think these jokes are plane.

A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says, "Sir, are you a gambling man?"

The butcher says, "Why yes, as a matter of fact, I am."

"Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there."

The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet."

The guy says, "But I thought you said you were a gambling man."

"I am. But the steaks are too high."