Think jokes
I think Kobe misunderstood the 6-ft rule.
Job interview: "What's your greatest weakness?"
"Honesty."
"I don't think honesty is a weakness."
"I don't give a fuck what you think."
If you think of a president as your king, then the USA got checkmated on November 22nd, 1963.
You are like a software update. Whenever I see you, I immediately think, "Not now."
Yo mama so hairy that the zookeepers called a code red thinking an ape got loose.
Memes
If you could see me you would think she's crazy af
I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.
Your hairline is pushed back; we can see what you are thinking of.
What is the difference between men and women?
Men have 2 heads, women have 4 lips because men do all the thinking, and women do all the talking.
I'd like to have kids one day.
I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.
Why did Amy Winehouse snort Splenda?
She thought it was Diet Coke.
A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, “You have to help me, I think I’m shrinking.”
“Now settle down,” the doctor calmly told him. “You'll just have to learn to be a little patient.”
At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”
Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head because his wife said he was close-minded?
"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."
I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.
Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.
Wayne Couzens, the police officer who killed Sarah Everard, has been complaining about receiving a whole life tariff for her murder...
I think he should count his blessings. He could have had it worse...
He could have married her!
You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"
Then I start to think I was the problem :(
Just kidding, fuck that asshole!
Lewandowski is so fast because whoever would think of adding an engine to him is a genius!
I don't think I could ever become a beggar. I really don't like change.
I just did a test to see who my soulmate is, and it said "best friend." So I guess I am gay. I think so, WTF.