Think jokes

These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humor. They think of humor as like a happy thing because humor makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering. If I take a joke like, how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. Now that joke isn’t making light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racially discriminated against. It’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind, and that is important. Humor at its best takes the bad things in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny.

And before you go in the comments and say I agree with rape, I don’t. I hope everybody who rapes someone to have their dick cut off. My little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me, cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!

Guy 1: Why is my cat so angry?

Guy 2: Because she wants to eat your big sausage.

Guy 1: Don't you?

Guy 2: Yeah, it seems delicious.

Guy 1: Mmm, so... w-wait what are you doing? I didn't think you meant the one in my lunch :< Where are you leaving #_#

**Meow...**

Guy 1: Shut up, I will never feed you this sausage. It's not for you :< -_- </3

Job interview: "What's your greatest weakness?"

"Honesty."

"I don't think honesty is a weakness."

"I don't give a fuck what you think."

What's the similarities between anonymous and a cow? I think you know...

Attended my boss's funeral to pay my respects. On my way out, I leaned over his casket and whispered lightly, "Well, look who's thinking outside the box now."

I think Kobe misunderstood the 6-ft rule.

I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.

Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.

You are like a software update. Whenever I see you, I immediately think, "Not now."

If you think of a president as your king, then the USA got checkmated on November 22nd, 1963.

I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.

Your hairline is pushed back; we can see what you are thinking of.

What is the difference between men and women?

Men have 2 heads, women have 4 lips because men do all the thinking, and women do all the talking.

I'd like to have kids one day.

I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.

Why did Amy Winehouse snort Splenda?

She thought it was Diet Coke.

A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, “You have to help me, I think I’m shrinking.”

“Now settle down,” the doctor calmly told him. “You'll just have to learn to be a little patient.”

At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”

I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”

Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head because his wife said he was close-minded?

"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."

Lewandowski is so fast because whoever would think of adding an engine to him is a genius!

Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.

10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.