I don't think I could ever become a beggar. I really don't like change.
Lewandowski is so fast because whoever would think of adding an engine to him is a genius!
Wayne Couzens, the police officer who killed Sarah Everard, has been complaining about receiving a whole life tariff for her murder...
I think he should count his blessings. He could have had it worse...
He could have married her!
You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"
Then I start to think I was the problem :(
Just kidding, fuck that asshole!
I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.
Yo mama so hairy that the zookeepers called a code red thinking an ape got loose.
Your hairline is pushed back; we can see what you are thinking of.
What's the similarities between anonymous and a cow? I think you know...
I think Kobe misunderstood the 6-ft rule.
Attended my boss's funeral to pay my respects. On my way out, I leaned over his casket and whispered lightly, "Well, look who's thinking outside the box now."
What is the difference between men and women?
Men have 2 heads, women have 4 lips because men do all the thinking, and women do all the talking.
I'd like to have kids one day.
I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.
You are like a software update. Whenever I see you, I immediately think, "Not now."
If you think of a president as your king, then the USA got checkmated on November 22nd, 1963.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?
I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.
I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.
Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.
A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, “You have to help me, I think I’m shrinking.”
“Now settle down,” the doctor calmly told him. “You'll just have to learn to be a little patient.”
At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”
"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."
Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head because his wife said he was close-minded?
