Think jokes

Are your ankles having a party? Because I think your pants should come on down.

Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.

So I threw a coconut at her.

You might think that tigers or lions are the best jumpers, but in my opinion, it's emos, because some of them are still in the air.

Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."

You could hold your breath for the rest of your life.

Think about it.

Alya, I need to talk to you now. If you don't reply, I will kermit the not living, and if you don't think I will, I will post your OnlyFans photos I get every month for $5.99 a week (high price if you ask me)!

Family all eating at the table.

Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."

Sister: "Stop the cap."

Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."

Dad laughed.

Stepmom storms out of the room.

I just did a test to see who my soulmate is, and it said "best friend." So I guess I am gay. I think so, WTF.

Sometimes I look at someone I hate and think, "I hope you get laid tonight."

By a tweaker with AIDS.

New teacher: Everyone stand up if you think you are stupid.

Student: Stands up.

Teacher: Why did you stand up?

Student: I hate seeing you stand up there by yourself.

Your forehead so big you got to go outside to think.

In 2006 on 6/9, there was something called communication opportunity happened. On 6/9. 69. Coincidence? I think NOT.

I think I am a boomerang because I always come back to you.

What's the similarities between anonymous and a cow? I think you know...

At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”

I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”

Why did Amy Winehouse snort Splenda?

She thought it was Diet Coke.

A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, “You have to help me, I think I’m shrinking.”

“Now settle down,” the doctor calmly told him. “You'll just have to learn to be a little patient.”

Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head because his wife said he was close-minded?

"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."

Attended my boss's funeral to pay my respects. On my way out, I leaned over his casket and whispered lightly, "Well, look who's thinking outside the box now."