My mum told me to stop telling the suicidal jokes. I replied with: "Don't worry, suicide would be the last thing I'd do."
My girlfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
A man was mowing his lawn when blue and reg stuff came out instead of grass. Next thing he knew a smurf was on his shoulder asking if he’s seen his friend.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What's the only thing Mexicans can unwrap on Christmas? Tamales.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
The only thing brighter than my future is the fire on the world trade center.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I ran over neighbors cat last night and I just want to say... THAT THING WAS FAST! I had run a red light to get it!
What starts with the letter M, ends with -arriage and is a man's favorite thing? Miscarriage. That joke never gets old, just like the baby.
What's the hardest thing about being a pedophile? Just trying to fit in.
Q: whats a pedophile's favorite thing about Halloween A: Free delivery
a man got fired from the first coin factory. he exclaimed "no! this is the only thing thats ever made cents!!"
*One day u see a girl climb a pole and ask her* Why are u climbing that pole Because a boy payed me to He did that to see your underwear Oh. Ok *next day u see her do the same thing* why are u ding the same thing Well I got him this time. I did not wear underwear
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to.
Unless you are in prison
A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks "where'd you get that lovely thing?" "Africa" the parrot replied.
